JovialJman - The Origins And Beliefs Of Halloween

Jack-o'-Lanterns are synonymous with Halloween.

It is that day of year where you can dress up as anything you want, from a ghost, or ghoul, to a vampire, or, (as some ladies like to do), a bunny. It is a day of fear and fright, along with getting free candy from houses that you visit. But how did it come about and what are the origins of these traditions.

There are a lot more theories on the things associated with Halloween then there are about the treasures of the sea and UFO's (not really but it is close). There are a few things that have a fair amount of evidence that supports it, while other things are what some just take as always being like that.

This video shows some of the origins of Halloween that I did not cover.

There were people that were called the Celts that lived in what we now would call Brittany, Wales, Cornwall, Isle of Man, Ireland, and Scotland. They had many traditions and customs, one of which was to celebrate Samhain, this was celebrated on the sunset of October 31st to sunset of the 1 of November. In the Northern hemisphere, it is the end of summer and the beginning of winter, this meant the they had finished their harvest for the year and brought the cattle from the summer pastures to closer to home, and slaughter those that they needed for the winter. They would light a big bonfire to light a way for the herders to come home. It has also been said that this was the end of the year for the Celts.

This Image shows where the celts lived. For the key please see here.

Since it was the end of the year, they believed that the veil between the living and the underworld was at its weakest and spirits where able to come easily to our world. Since some of these spirits might not have been very pleasant, people dressed up in costumes in what that thought would be unpleasing to these spirits so they would not posses them, (this might be where the dressing up came from.) Pomona was a Roman god associated with the flourishing of fruit, when drawn she is associated with apples and may be a source for our modern tradition of bobbing for apples comes from.

When Christianity was trying to convert people to their religion, one of the methods was to make it more appealing to the Pagans, they decided to make this unholy day, a day for the church and thus made it November the first "All Saints Day". Another word for saint at the time was "Hallow", which now means to make things holy. So the day before All saints day was know as all Hallow Evening and but shortening it, it became Halloween.

The Jack-o'-Lanterns have a very interesting story behind it. In Ireland, there was a story that went as such; There was once a man named Stingy Jack. He called up the Devil himself and invited him to a bar, but since Jack was rather sinister, he didn't bring money to pay for the drinks. He persuaded the devil to change into a coin so Jack could pay, but instead of paying, he decided to put the coin in a box with a silver cross, so the devil was unable to change back to his original form. Once Jack got bored he decided to let him go on 2 conditions, 1 the devil would leave him alone for 10 years, and that he would not take his soul when he dies, the devil agreed and was set free. Once Jack eventually passed away, God did not let him into heaven since he was to evil. Then jack went to the gates of hell asked the devil to be let in, but keeping his word, the Devil refused him entry but gave him a coal that  would burn forever and sent him away, Jack decided to put the coal in a carved out turnip and made a lantern. Since then people could see Jack walk around with his lantern and was referred to as Jack of the Lantern, which was shortened to Jack-o'-Lantern.

Some of the lanterns that may be seen during Halloween. Picture taken from here.

Then people carved out turnips and potatoes and put a light inside to ward off Jack since, they would thought that Jack would think the devil was there. See that it is a Turnip and not a pumpkin, well, pumpkins are not native to Ireland, but when some of them migrated to America during the potato shortage, they came into contact with the pumpkins and found they were perfect for the carvings.

All Hallows Eve was also a time to pray for those who have passed away, and one tradition was going to houses in your neighbourhood and knocked on peoples doors asking for soul cakes, for each one they got, they were ensured a prayer. This might have been the origins to the Trick-or-treating that many children do today.

Now since I have told you where some of the traditions and the name may have came from, I would like to state that we here in South Africa, don't quite celebrate it as those in America. We do try and go trick or treating but since many people don't partake in it, it does become rather hard. I myself have only ever done it once. But we do have parties with a halloween theme, and clubs do make a dress code for it on the night as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read today's post, if you have any comments, and/or suggestions, please leave them down in the comments or on Facebook/Twitter. If you have any friends that would like to read something about halloween, please can you share this with them as I am sure they would like to give it a read. If you like what you see, or would like to show your support, please like us on Facebook and/or follow us on Twitter using the associated buttons on the bar to the left. I hope you have/had a lovely Halloween.

Happy scaring people.

JovialJman - How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

The women on the track there might be fit for baby sitting, who would hire her?

Zombies are those creatures that indicate the end of the world, potentially. They seem to have an urge to seek out brains or the living, so there are a few that are safe, (maybe they are dead ... don't judge). Some say that the day they walk the earth is just a matter of time, So today OddballGreg and myself will tell you how to survive the zombie apocalypse.

Now the beginning scenario was created by both OddballGreg and myself and we are both using it and expanding on it independently. It is a rather crude scenario one of which just might take place, (you never know). So without further delay here is the gruesome and rather morbid survival, (the Italics are what we both begin with):

My day begins as it usually does, my phone’s alarm going off beside me in it’s typical irritating tone in it’s occasionally vain effort to get me to wake up. 10 to 30 minutes later I'm, busy doing what I usually do in the tired stupor that comes with being awake so early.

Having managed to accurately dress myself with the correct clothing in the correct orientation after one or two tries, I gather up my usual trinkets like keys, phone, wallet, sunglasses, etc, and make my way outside to drive to work. (Yes. Drive. This is South Africa after all. Walking to work can take several hours, not minutes.) my tiredness making me fairly oblivious to my surroundings, I don't find the lack of cars on the road strange in the least, despite it being the middle of the week. “Maybe school term has finished?” I reason, that being a common cause for a lack of traffic.

Whatever the cause, I soon arrive at work, enter, and make my way over to note my entry time when I notice, strangely, that everyone is already clocked in. Must be something happening today that I wasn't told about, the lack of updates on the noticeboard showing everyone is probably somewhere else and hasn't had the time to sort things out here. Suddenly, my phone rings to tell me that I have a new message. Pulling it out of my pocket with a large yawn, I drop it in some ketchup that someone must've spilt on the floor at some point, I remove it and go to wipe it off in the bathroom, wondering at the laziness of my coworkers for not cleaning up after themselves.

Wiped and cleaned, I check who sent the message. It’s from OddballGreg, pressing the conversation to see what they said, I suddenly wonder how much he’s been drinking since his spelling is really bad. “Stsy hme, zomurs apixoltse.” Asking them to repeat what they said, I put my phone away and go to find out what work you need to do today.

Walking into the next room, I find a bunch of scared individuals looking around and throwing various things into bags while one watches the doorways while holding a cricket bat. Noticing me, the blonde haired guy with the cricket bat and something red on his white shirt’s breast pocket walks up to me and says: “Bloody hell man, I thought you were one of them.”
“One of who?” I ask incredulously.
“The zombies. Have you been walking around with your eyes closed man? They're all over the place. Listen, now’s not the time to explain. We're busy getting some food and stuff right. After that the plan is we'll go to me’ mum’s place, kill her husband who’s been bitten, drive through to the local pub, batten down the hatches, sip a beer and wait for all this to blow over. Sound good?”

Me, deciding that I've seen this movie before and that the noob with red on him clearly has no idea what he’s talking about and is probably going to get me unceremoniously killed in some pub somewhere, decide to come up with my own plan to survive:

So, since I have not noticed the events before, I ask a the group of 3 for their names and how it all started and any information that might help us survive. One of the gentleman said, "My name is Trace. I heard on the news that it was some or other diseases or infection that spread when a scientist was doing an experiment without proper preparation." Another person with a rather high voice said, "Yes! I heard that as well. My name is Rose by the way." I was astounded, she didn't really look like a female, since she was wearing rather torn up jeans and long sleeve shirt which was really dirty, which is rather different to the skirts and and skimpy tops you often see.

"Ok, so it is soem or other diseases. What are some of the things you 3 can do that can save our posteriors if the time comes to it," I ask. The man who had the blood stain on his short pocket answer, " My name is Nick, I am an ex-prisoner, I am rather good with sub-machine guns, and I know how to swing a bat." Rose interjects Nick and says, "Posterior, are you an english speaker or something?"
"No, I just tend to use rather obscure words, but there is no time for that. We need to get supplies, what do you have so far." "I have a baseball bat, we have some office supplies, and some food from the kitchen down the hall," said Nick.

"Nick, since you were in prison, do you know where the nearest gunshop is?" "Just because I was in prison does not mean I know where a gunshop is ... it's two blocks down." "Ok, awesome. Oh and my name is Jerome. I have my car parked outside, lets take that to the shop and stock up on some much needed equipment. Lets take whatever we can from here and be on our way." Once we left the office, I had my first whiff of what smelled like a dying animal. After arriving at the Gun shop, we scavenged around taking what ammunition and guns we could. Breaking the class that was between us and some of the weapons.

"There is a safe that I cannot get into. Does anyone know how to crack a safe?" asked Rose. "I might be able to help, depending on what type of safe it is. Wait, lets just search on the net for it. I have my phone with me ... just give me a sec. It is a turn wheel safe." "Yip" "Ok this one website says we need to try and bounce the safe." "Jerome ... It is a walk in safe. You can try if you want, but no. Try something else." Nick disappeared for a bit but none of us noticed. When he came back his pockets looked bulgy. He said really calmly, "everyone just wait outside for a second please." "Why?" we all 3 asked. "Trust me, just wait out side for a bit." We proceeded outside, and Nick was out shortly after, He said "Cover your ears now." We all did and then a loud BANG!!! came from inside, followed by a cloud of smoke. "What did you do man??? are you crazy?" "Relax, Jerome. There was a police station a block up, I got a duffel bag of weapons, along with some grenades." "Zombies are attracted to sound you id10t. We need to move now!" We had managed to get some of the weapons from the safe, with a not destroyed entrance. After we had loaded everything into the boot/trunk of the car, zombies started to chase after us.

If we lived in the game Unturned, these would be the zombies chasing us.

We all got in the car as fast as possible and started to discuss some of the places we could rest, or even better a place to barricade as a safe house. We all agreed that the mall was the worst place since that is where a lot of the zombies are seen to congregate. Parents were also a bad place to go, since they most probably have been turned and you don't want to see loved ones as zombies, they could give you a hug ... then bite off our ear. We decided to go to an old metal factory since there would be a lot of supplies for defences. After getting there we saw a few zombies on the ground. "We have to exterminate them. Remember Rule #1 - double Tap" After a few hours of zombie hunting, we had the problem of the bodies laying around.

When playing Shotgun Fun Fun you can expect a lot of blood, if you survive long enough

In the factory we managed to find a full body heat resistant suit, that would have been used to handle or check things close to the melted metal. We used this suit to move all the now re-dead bodies away from the factory so we can start preparations on the defences. We used metal sheets to block up all the windows and all but 2 entrances. When then made sure that these defences would hold in the case of emergency. Once we were safely locked in for the night, we decide to get to know each other around the campfire. As it turned out, Nick was in prison due to the fact he never paid any of his parking tickets, he broke out of prison when some of the guards were turned into zombies and utter chaos broke, however he was a gun enthusiast, and enjoyed hunting. Rose was a really open minded but spoke her mind all the time, if you crossed her you would be as good as ... a zombie. Trace was a military sniper, and was here on vacation when all of this started and lost his wife to the infection. I must have been asleep for the entire week since I hadn't noticed any of this until that day.

After sleeping through the night on the floor, we went out to try find beds, for better nights and supplies to survive in our safe house. "We must try stay in there as long as we can," stated Nick, while I said, "unless we try find other survivors. There might be some in other cities, look at me I survived without knowing about it for a few days." Rose looked rather confused now, "if we go out there, we will most probably die. If you want to risk your life on something like that, go ahead, but until we are much more prepared I am not leaving."

Me, being me, I wanted to find out if there was more survivors out there. So I let everyone know that I wanted to go out just for a day or two to see if there were any in the nearby towns. They were ok with me going, but did not want to come with, (who would have blamed them? Every time people do that in the movies they always get picked off one by one.) I gathered up some food and weapons and put them into a duffle bag, that was the dirtiest of them all. After stealing a car I went to a gas station to see if there was any fuel I can get. I started filling up my car when all of a sudden a zombie appeared right next to me, Thank goodness for Rule #1 - Cardio. I out ran the zombies, pulled a frying pan out of the car and had some batting practice.

Once I had filled up my car, I went to the mall ... to see if anyone was stupid enough to actually go there. I am to the entrance of Greenstone shopping center and then proceeded inwards. I noticed that one shop, Nandos, seemed to be barricaded so I inspected it. I found it strange that there were little amount of zombies in the mall. Once I was able to get around the barricades, I saw some movement in the back. A woman screamed and started running at me with a shotgun in her hand and pulled the trigger. I was shot in the head, the light faded in a matter of seconds and I was dead. I realized that I still had an extra life and respawned at the entrance to the center again. "Damn, never done that before. I must be really careful." I went back to Nandos and got around the barricades, this time I hid behind a pillar and shouted out, "Is there anyone there?" I heard 2 people quickly mutter and shot up from there chairs.


"Please don't shoot, I come in peace." "Who are you? have you been bitten?" "My name is Jerome, no I haven't. there are hardly any zombies out there, what happened to them all?" I slowly walked to the 2 people there with my hands up. The lady answered, "Hi, my name is Rochelle, we have managed to lure them to the other end of the center, but we couldn't do it with all of them, that is why we have the barricade." "My name is Bobby, but everyone calls me Coach." "Are there any other people here with you 2?" "No, it is just us, we thought there was no one else out there, so we stay here as much as we can." "I was with 3 other people in the town just down the road, if you want you can come and join us, more people, the better we can do things." Rochelle says, "That would be great, do you have a car, all the ones in the parking lot have been syphoned for our generator." "Yes, it is just out side, lets take as much as we can and head on back. I just need to eat something first." I go to the kitchen, and make myself something to eat. There were some canned tomatoes, and some mushrooms, I managed to find some rolls that were not quite steal and just put it all together. I quickly ate that, and we were on our way.

I may or may not have seen something from Plants vs. Zombies

I let Coach drive, since I started to feel rather strange. I felt really tired and started to hallucinate, and saw things on the road that were not really there. I thought I would just tell them where the place we were staying at is and then sleep it off. I managed to just explain where it was before I passed out. When I woke up, I saw people shapes in the daze, since my eyes were not all the way open. I tried to get up but was tied down. "Guys what is happening, why am I tied down" Nick says "you were running a temperature, and for the last 2 days you were having muscle twitches, we were afraid that you might turn into a zombie." "Why would I turn into a zombie? I wasn't bitten, I didn't even get close to any zombies. Wait ... why can't I feel my legs? Guys, why can't I feel my legs?!?" coached explained to me that on the way to the factory, there was a little mishap and one of them had bitten my legs, so they wanted to save me from turning, so the chopped it off.

As the day progressed I started feeling strange again, I was turning into a zombie. I shouted, "Guys, I am turning, you have to kill me and take off my head, you have to stay safe." "But you were getting better." "We can't do that, you are part of our team." No-one wanted to do it. Nick came up to me, leant down and whispered into my ear "do you really want us to kill you? You might not survive." My response was, "Rule #17 Don't be a hero." With that, Nick had decided to do it. He went and got the machete from the back and said, "We will always remember you Jerome." With a quick swoop, the blade went through and made a ding, with the concrete below my head.

Suddenly I got a falling sensation and woke up in bed to the sound of my phone's alarm beside me. "It was all just a dream? It felt so real though. I guess that explains the respawn thing. I must stop playing CoD Zombies." After dressing myself for work after a few attempts, I gather my things and head for the car. Driving to work I notice that there are not many cars on the road despite it being the middle of the week, it must be school holiday I reason to myself.

I soon arrive at work and make my way to the front desk to clock in. I notice everyone else has already, must be something happening today that no-one told me about. My phone rings with a notification that I got a message. While pulling my phone out of my pocket with a yawn, it drops and lands in some ketchup/tomato sauce. Geez I mutter, After going to the bathroom to wash it, I realize that this was way too familiar. I start to shake and unlock my phone, the message it from OddballGreg. It says "stsy hme, zomurs apixoltse" ...

The End

I hope you enjoyed this special feature, of OddballGreg and I today. If you have any comments or any other storeys you would like us to read, please let us know about them in the comments below, and on Facebook/Twitter. If you know anyone who likes a zombie story or just likes to read, please share this post with them as I am sure they will thank you for it. If you like what you see and would like to see more, please like us on Facebook and/or follow us on Twitter using the associated buttons on the bar to the left, to see the latest posts, as they are published. I thank you for taking the time for reading today's posts, and I hope you have/had an awesome day.

Happy zombie hunting. 

OddballGreg - How To Survive The Zombie Apocalypse

What're you gonna do, bite me?

Zombie's. Undead people with an undying hunger for flesh/brains. Occasionally they suffer from severe halitosis, or just general stink and decay, but they always seem to be ghastly, bloodthirsty, and occasionally lacking in fine motor function. Today, JovialJman and I both are talking about how to survive the Zombie Apocalypse.

A few months ago, someone asked me to talk about the Zombie Apocalypse as a topic. Admittedly late, I had intended on saving this topic for something fun, and came up with the idea for this Halloween of doing something different as part of the holiday. I figured wouldn't it be fun to come up with some fairly terrible(ly silly) scenario, and then have both myself and JovialJman offer up our alternative opinions on how best to survive the Zombie Apocalypse in South Africa.

Now, I will point out that the original scenario is fairly awful, (it also contains a reference to one of my favorite zombie movies), but the point of our articles today is not the beginning scenario, which was simply written to give a basis from which we could start and come up with differing solutions to surviving what could be a very gruesome and painful death. And so without further ado, let us begin.

The Scenario:

My day begins as it usually does, with my phone’s alarm going off beside me in it’s typical irritating tone in it’s occasionally vain effort to get me to wake up. 10 to 30 minutes later I'm, busy doing what I usually do in the tired stupor that comes with being awake so early.

Having managed to accurately dress myself with the correct clothing in the correct orientation after one or two tries, I gather up my usual trinkets like keys, phone, wallet, sunglasses, etc, and make my way outside to drive to work. (Yes. Drive. This is South Africa after all. Walking to work can take several hours, not minutes.) My tiredness making me fairly oblivious to my surroundings, I don't find the lack of cars on the road strange in the least, despite it being the middle of the week. “Maybe school term has finished?” I reason, that being a common cause for a lack of traffic.

Whatever the cause, I soon arrive at work, enter, and make my way over to note my entry time when I notice, strangely, that everyone is already clocked in. Must be something happening today that I wasn't told about, the lack of updates on the noticeboard showing everyone is probably somewhere else and hasn't had the time to sort things out here. Suddenly, my phone rings to tell me that I have a new message. Pulling it out of my pocket with a large yawn, I drop it in some ketchup that someone must've spilled on the floor at some point, I remove it from the puddle and go to wipe it off in the bathroom, wondering at the laziness of my coworkers for not cleaning up after themselves.

Wiped and cleaned, I check who sent the message. It’s from JovialJman, pressing the conversation to see what they said, I suddenly wonder how much he’s been drinking since his spelling is really bad. “Stsy hme, zomurs apixoltse.” Asking him to repeat what he said, I put my phone away and go to find out what work I need to do today.

Walking into the next room, I find a bunch of scared individuals looking around and throwing various things into bags while one holding a cricket bat watches the doorways. Noticing me, the cricket bat wielding blonde with something red on his shirt’s breast pocket walks up to me and says: “Bloody hell man, I thought you were one of them.”

“One of who?” I ask incredulously.

“The zombies. Have you been walking around with your eyes closed man? They're all over the place. Listen, now’s not the time to explain. We're busy getting some food and stuff right. After that the plan is we'll go to me’ mum’s place, kill her husband who’s been bitten, drive through to the local pub, batten down the hatches, sip a beer and wait for all this to blow over. Sound good?”

Deciding that I've seen this movie before and that the noob with red on him and British accent clearly has no idea what he’s talking about and is probably going to get me unceremoniously killed in some pub somewhere, I decide to come up with my own plan to survive:

The Plan:

Step 1 to survival: Figure things out.

"Hey. Zombies are easy to deal with. Trust me. I've played all the games."

First and foremost, doing what they do in zombie games is probably going to get me killed. Life is full of uncertainties, and the zombie apocalypse is no different. There are things that I don't know yet like: Are the Zombies runners or shufflers? What's the best way to kill them? Decapitation or complete destruction of the body? Are there mutated zombies? How easy or difficult is it to evade the zombies and finally, why am I not a zombie?

The reason I'd want to know all that is because that information lets me know if the zombie apocalypse is on hardcore mode or not. (Because gamers think in gamer terms.) 

Firstly, if the Zombies are runners, then I'm probably screwed. I'm unfit as all hell, though depending on how good their senses are, I may still have a chance through stealth. If they're shufflers, then singular zombies are not the issue but I'm going to feel stupid if I get surrounded and eaten.

Secondly, depending on what caused the zombies, they could be really tough or decaying, and may or may not need their head. Hope they need their head since then cranial damage or decapitation may be all I need to drop a zed like a bad date on a Tuesday. If they don't need their head, then again, I'm probably screwed since disembodied limbs trying to disembowel me is a very hard thing to deal with, barring utter destruction or extremely accurate disconnection of tendon from bone. Suffice to say, "ain't nobody got time for that" when there's several hundred more zombies to deal with. If it's those kind of zombies, I suggest finding a nice corner to cry in, followed by the finding of a very quick and painless way out. (Probably the only time you will ever hear me condoning that... Suicide is no joke.)

Thirdly, are there mutated zombies or not? This might be the second or third thing I ask the guy with red on him, since having to fight a tank, (pictured below), means that I am, more than likely, a dead man walking. (Unless I find a minigun by some miracle.) These guys are strong enough to send you flying with a punch, and strong enough that bullets don't penetrate their skulls. Suffice to say, if these exist... Odds of survival are pretty bad since mutated zombies mutate for one reason. To be better at killing humans.

Artwork for the Left 4 Dead tank. Taken from http://left4dead.wikia.com/wiki/The_Tank

Fourth, the zombies' ability to notice me is an important factor in how likely it is that I would survive. If they have better senses than the average human, then stealth is no option and I'm extra dead if they can move quicker than me. On the other hand, if they're stupid and easy to fool, then surviving could be as simple as holing up somewhere they're too stupid to reach with ample supplies and a couple guns.

And perhaps the most important question to ask, why am I not a zombie? Depending on the zombie cause, this question could be fairly important since it either means I'm just awesome like Francis,(10 points if you get that reference.), immune to whatever caused them to turn, or simply haven't caught it yet or turned yet. Too bad the only way to find out which one it is, is to get bitten and wait it out, which is not on the books. My advice, stay clear of teeth and claws, carry extra ammo.

Step 2 to survival: Come up with an actual plan to survive!

"I know! We'll go to the mall! That usually works in the movies... oh wait."

I'm going to point out that doing anything they "did in the movies" or games, is probably also going to get me killed, simply because fiction is rather terrible at portraying the inefficacy of the human body. Getting bitten hurts enough to distract you, getting hungry makes you too weak to do anything useful, and going to a mall is a surefire way to die quickly simply by mass of bodies since odds are good anywhere that had lots of people, probably has lots of zombies now.

No, what I need is a plan that does 2 things. Keeps zombie teeth and claws as far as possible from my flesh, and a method of surviving the rest of my days, preferably while I work on reducing the zombie population each day. There are a couple things that could work for this goal, but to list the bare essentials, I would need a source of food, water, shelter and safety, and basic materials.

I'm going to point out at this point that South Africa is a very interesting country for a few reasons that make surviving the zombie apocalypse a fair sight easier than other countries typically mentioned in the fiction. 

Firstly, about 90% of houses have 6 foot high walls, burglar bars on their windows in brick and mortar built walls. There's also a tendency for metal security gates on all the doors. Suffice to say, your average home is practically a fortress already, and with just a bit of work can be made impenetrable depending on your needs. If the zombies are agile, it's a good idea to perhaps mix up some cement and brick up every unnecessary entrance for your own safety in the long term, but for the weaker type of zombie, the houses are good enough already given that with the already built walls, most can't even get to the house's doors and windows. For added points, finding a 2 story house with street facing windows means I can see anyone coming and get ready ahead of time. If the fiction is anything to go on, I'll be at as much risk from unfriendly people as I am from the zombies, so being able to set traps and or have sniper coverage is rather useful. (More on that in a moment.)

The other good about the country is that it's got a strange mix of large yards, urban buildings and farmland all in close proximity to each other. If you would rather try to make it out on the farms, the already made boreholes will make getting water fairly easy so that you can grow food and drink. On the other hand, rain catchment containers can be somewhat easily created from plastic bags and containers of various shapes, or simply plastic barrels, so water isn't a significant issues if you nip it in the bud early. (Though further plans can be made. Talk about that in a moment too.)

In my case, I would likely find a building matching that description in neighborhoods I am familiar with since the ability to find my way around easily can be the difference between getting home safely and dying stupidly in some ditch because I made a wrong left turn. Old map books are GOLD in a time where the internet is likely to stop existing in as few as a couple weeks. The electrical grid and sanitary systems may be functional for a few weeks if you're lucky, in which time it's a good idea to find as many containers for water as possible and fill them for a rainy day, (Teehee), dig a latrine trench somewhere safe and begin gathering equipment to make life without commercial electricity easier. Generators and fuel are fairly important to that end as well since lighting at night will help prevent accidental death in the dark and allow me to work on things at night. (Although getting a house with solar panels and batteries is also pretty awesome if you're lucky enough.) The electricity will also be useful for running power tools and such, which can useful for creating my own stuff since the lack of factories and people making your stuff for you will mean a need for self sufficiency.

Step 3 to survival: Get some friends.

"Hmmm nah. I work better on my own." *Dies from being bitten from behind.*

I'm going to be blunt about this. If I'm the last human remaining, I'm not even going to bother surviving. Humans are social creatures and I go near insane when left alone for any length of period. More importantly, I don't have eyes in the back of my head. In war, you never see soldiers fighting alone. They're always in groups since they can guard each others backs. And before you say something stupid like they'll just get you killed or it'll be too much heartache if they die, I'm pretty sure if I die alone, that's way worse. There is no better reason to fight than for one's family and friends. And even better, strategically speaking, building and fortifying my home on my own is kind've difficult, but say I've have a friend with a sniper rifle sitting on the second floor while I go meet the potentially unfriendly people at my gate, things might go better in my favor. All in all, things are better with friends, so it's advisable that the first thing I do is call everyone you know and try to warn them and get them to meet up together. Odds aren't great that they will all want to stick together, but depending on how charismatic I am and how good they think my plan is, a good few can be convinced. I'll probably get the dolt with the red on his shirt, (teehee), and his friends to come too if I can since with enough people, other options become available.

While getting everyone to stick together will be difficult, explaining how things work and leading them properly is beneficial to everyone and can make life far more easy than it would be on your own. If I hurt myself while I'm on my own, I can't get food and water, but with friends, they can help take care of me while I recover, as I would for them.

Step 4 to survival: Carry out the plan.

"Fred. John. Watch the entrance, yell if you see anyone. We'll clear the inside."

Many hands make light work, so once I've gathered up my friends and organized ourselves enough, it's a good idea to start barricading our chosen home and gathering provisions. Make sure people are always in groups of at least 4. Scout areas before we walk through them. Move quickly and quietly. Have some people start searching any small food shops, police stations and notable buildings for weapons, ammunition, food and other necessary supplies. Depending on how many uninfected survivors we meet around, we should avoid direct confrontations unless you have the weapons needed. (I would've made some distasteful jokes about other places you could find guns in South Africa, but I'm just going to say they aren't necessarily hard to get.) If I've got enough people for it, having some people gathering provisions while some work on the home to make it safer is ideal, with people on guard for both actions. If we've got one of those map books, it'll be set up at home base and mark building that we've searched and cleared already of all useful stuff. Other things of interest can be marked as well. Continue the scavenging of materials as much as possible and keep improving defenses for the home while we store up nonperishable food and water for our first winter of the apocalypse since it doesn't rain in winter and growing food is less viable. While were at it, it's a good idea to recruit anyone we can to come and work with us back at our home base. (Though of course, trust must be earned before we're going to just give them a gun and go to sleep with them in the room.)

With a few weeks of work provided I'm not on my own, it could be possible to set up a self-sufficient and safe home which we could live out the rest of our days in. Of course. Who wants to do just that?

Step 5 to survival: Reclaim The World!

"Wait... What?"

Precisely. Being the ambitious person that I am, if things went well enough to get to this point then we're in prime position to do a Rebuild inspired reclamation of the world. As we recruit more people, we're going to need more space for farming, water collection and general work. So given that South African homes are build with high walls to each other, we can begin reclaiming the homes beside our original base and start to fortify the entire block of homes. With more people comes the ability to take more space and build outposts nearby. With some clever organization, efforts can be made to take control of key locations such as water sanitation plants and the power plants if necessary anymore considering the efforts we've made towards self sufficiency. Good communication, continuing the recruitment of anyone willing to join, and it's entirely possible that we could reclaim the city from the zombies block by block, since if we've made it this far, the zombies can't be too difficult to deal with in small numbers. As long as order is maintained among the people, the unification under one banner against the zombies could be enough to bring out the best in humanity and ultimately prevail. The collection of resources early should've allowed for the creation of interesting new tools, traps and creative solutions to aid in the expedited neutralization of zombies, so it's possible that with the right leadership, planning and caution, the city could be cleared of zombies over time. From there, who knows what more could happen. Who knows what the future holds.

In Summary

"Gimme the basics champ. I'm simple."

Basically, in order for me to survive the zombie apocalypse, I need to:
1: Get information on what it's like out there, and if it's even worth trying.
2: Come up with a plan to survive based on that information and what we know will eventually happen as civilization comes to an end.
3: Gather up as many friendlies as possible. There is strength in numbers.
4: Carry out the plan and begin working towards creating a self sufficient home base and community.
5: Begin reclaiming important locations within the city, making sure to maintain patrols and communication at all time.

"And that chaps, is how we're going to survive this mess." I say to the idiot with red on him and his friends, their faces incredulous as they look at me like some crackpot on meth.
"Sod that, let's go to the pub." he says, walking out the door with attitude, his friend's following behind him. Was worth a try I guess.

In any case, I hope you've enjoyed this rather detailed and somewhat unique post about the Zombie Apocalypse. I certainly enjoyed writing it, and would love to hear what you think of it down in the comments below, or via Facebook/Twitter. Have an zombie fan friends? Maybe share this post with them too to see what they think. And if you yourself would like to read more posts like this one, consider liking the Official TCSA Facebook page and/or following us on Twitter to get all the latest posts, as they're published. Regardless of what you do, I thank you for having taken the time to read this post; hope that you have/had an absolutely FANTASTIC day, and I will speak again soon.

Good luck surviving my friends.

OddballGreg - Why Do We Like Scary Things?

Ah, what a beautiful... thing... Just in case you weren't having enough nightmares lately.

In continuation of the Halloween special and it's appropriately themed topics, I thought it might be interesting to discuss a more thoughtful and perhaps philosophical topic relevant to Halloween. Which is to say, why is it that humans like scary things?

We've all seen it, or heard of it, or experienced it. Horror. We watch movies filled with gory death and frightening supernatural beings; we play games that subject us to terrifying experiences in the name of fun and we read and listen to terrifying stories of ghosts and demons because that's fun too. Anyone else wonder why on earth that would be fun? In a world so full of traumatic occurrences and horrific accidents... and not so accidents, why are people so happy to subject themselves to these fearful experiences?

In Michael Stevens' video which discusses relatively the same subject as this topic: "Why are we morbidly curious?", he points out many interesting points about human psychology which can be attributed to as the cause for our morbid curiosity and, moreover, why it is that we like scary things.

Perhaps most notably, (in my opinion at least), he points out that humans seek out these frightening and occasionally harrowing experiences because there is comfort in knowing. A very common historical trope in human history is the fear of the unknown, with supposed witches and inexplicable natural phenomena being feared simply because the general human populace didn't understand them or what they may or may not be doing. Consider a baby born with a tail for example. While this is a now documented medical phenomenon, people of the past had no idea of genetics or mutations, and could only chalk such an incident up to magic and the supernatural.

Of course, assumptions like that tend to lead to more questions.
"It's supernatural? What caused it? A demon. Satan himself? Will my children also be born with tails if they stay near. Will this child try to kill us as soon as it's old enough to try?"
Brutal and disgusting as such a thought process sounds, the human mind takes comfort in patterns. Anything that doesn't fall into the pattern of friend or foe, is typically frightening because you don't know if it's going to shake you hand, or eat your face. So naturally, the next step was:
"It's too risky... Kill it."

So what does this have to do with liking scary things? Simply, by exposing ourselves to these harrowing stories and nightmare inducing movies and games, we bring some comfort to ourselves by feeling that we know just a little more about what's out there. That if we had to see Slenderman outside our window, or a red skinned and horned creature in our living room, we would better know how to deal with such an occurrence.

However, in perhaps a more interesting take on the idea as pointed out again by Michael Stevens in his video, is the idea that by subjecting ourselves to these horrors and becoming familiar with the darker aspects of life and death, we come to better accept the terms upon which we are born. Essentially, this is an expansion of the idea in his video from Caitlin Doughty's book "Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, and other lessons from the crematory." in which she says: "Accepting death does not mean you will be any less devastated when someone dies. It means that you will be able to focus on your grief, unburdened by larger existential questions like 'Why do people die?' and 'Why is this happening to me?'. Death isn't happening to you. Death is happening to us all."

By playing these horror game, and listening to these ghost stories, watching these movies and in general just subjecting ourselves to these horrors, we come to better terms with the fragility of life, ours included, and are able to change how we live our lives, according to what we believe the lesson behind such fragility may be. For some, it is a motivator to experience all that life has to offer, given how very finite said life is, and how easily stolen it can be. Our enjoyment of horrors and by extension of his relevance to the topic, our curiosity for the morbid, essentially boils down to every humans' quest for knowledge, survival and meaning, as we hope that these experiences will help us better know about the world we live in, better survive it, and perhaps most importantly, understand why we're bothering in the first place.

In my article about The Challenges That Define Us, I pointed out that what people do, and who they are, is determined by what they experience, and how they succeed or fail to do within those experiences. It could be conjectured that our search for meaning in the horror and terror does more than simply comfort us and expose us to the world, but helps us to find ourselves and decide who we are. A punching bag against which we learn whether we prefer swift jabs or powerful swings, or a textbook that we can peruse or ignore as we will, in the search for the information that helps us know what we need or want to know so that we can act accordingly. Horror and scary things are, essentially, a learning experience.

And with that, I leave you to ponder what next you will learn this Halloween. If you have anything you would like to add, or simply liked the article, do please let us here at TCSA know down in the comments below, or via Facebook/Twitter. We do so love to hear from you. If you have any friends who enjoy horror or perhaps like to contemplate the reasons behind people's actions, consider sharing this post with them as I am sure that they will find it interesting. Of course, if you yourself would like to read more interesting articles such as this, consider liking the Official TCSA Facebook page and/or following us on Twitter using the associated buttons on the bar to the left to get all the latest posts, as they're published. Regardless of what you do, I thank you having taken the time to read this post; hope that you have/had an absolutely FANTASTIC day, and I will speak again soon.

Happy scares my friends.

JovialJman - More Morbid Sayings And Their Origins

Roses are red, that much has been said. I might be a monster, hiding under your bed.

Halloween is just round the corner, so here is round 2 of the morbid origins to sayings and words that we use every day and don't know it.

*Sorry for the late post, but due to unforseen circumstances I was not able to edit and publish it on time. I hope you understand and enjoy the post.

When you are showing people who you really are you are "showing your true colours". Now this saying comes from the 18th Century of warfare over the sea, and the "colours" were the flags of the ships which represented the country from which they come from. Under the Articles of war, (the Royal Navy's code of conduct), when going into battle you had to raise your flag so the other ships know which side you fight for. Now some captains wanted to get an advantage over their enemies and thought that that was more important then the rules, so they raised the flag of an enemy to show that they are allias. then when they got close enough, they would "show their true colours" and fire upon the enemy ship.

After someone has passed away, they have said to "kick the bucket". This saying has several theories about it's origin, but none can be proven more than the others. One of which is said it relates to a bucket a person will stand on when attempting to hang themselves and after the kick the bucket away, they pass away. Another being from a catholic tradition where a bucket/pail was set at the feet of a loved one that has passed on and on occasion the person would have an involuntary muscle twitch and kick the bucket. A third theory is that a bucket was a word used to describe a beam or yoke that was used to hand and/or carry things on. Now the bucket in the saying was used to refer to the beam on which dead pigs were hung on. These animals may have struggled on the bucket, hence the expression. "Deadline" as all know in a working area means the last moment when something needs to be done or handed in. This term was an actually line during the American Civil War. The guard drew a line on the ground and any prisoners that crossed that line would have been shot in the head thus killed. How nice that you won't be shot in the head if you don't make the deadline at work?

If you are set in your ways and will do anything to achieve your goals, you might be a "die-hard" person. In old times this was a word/phrase that was used to describe the people that struggled the longest when they were hanged. It became rather popular after the 1811 Battle of Albuera during the Napoleonic Wars. You might be "as pleased as Punch" to learn all of these sayings but unless you enjoy killing, you might not be. Punch was a puppet in 1600's puppet show Punch and Judy. Some of the things Punch does in the show is kill babies punches Judy until she dies, kills doctors, lawyers, a hangan and even the Grim Reaper. Now Punch got much enjoyment out of his killing sprees, so the saying came about. So next time someone says they are "as pleased as punch" you might want to run away. Teehee.

After a loved one has passed on, a ceremony may be held to cherish the memories that families and friends spent with them, this ceremony is called a "wake" and is done usually before the body is buried. This word has an origin that stems from the fear of not being buried alive. This again has some evidence but isn't the definite origin. In the 1500's in UK many things that were eaten off of, and drank from. had substances/chemicals in them that could have socken into the peoples food, and poisoned them. Some of these poisons caused their victims to slip into a coma and to the onlooker at the time, they appeared dead. Now since they were thought as dead, they buried the body. A bit later, there was no more space to bury bodies, so they started to dig up the bodies that were buried longer than a certian time, and discovered that some of the coffins (almost 1 in 25) had scratch marks on the lid, and realised that they had buried people alive. After this was discovered they waited to see if the person would "wake" up and had food and drinks during the wait.

The next to sayings also may have links to the fear of being buried alive. If you are at school and need to do a speech that you are not prepared for, you wish to be "saved by the bell." Now this saying has 2 popular origins, one being that it was a boxing term were if one of the boxers were almost knocked out, but the bell stoped it from happening, they were saved from defeat by the bell. But since this is the time of year for horror, I will begin with the following more terrifying meaning. Again in the UK after they saw that people were buried alive, they made safety coffins, that had a bell at the surface, that was attached with a string to the wrist of the person buried and thus, if they were to wake up they could ring the people. Now these people were know as a "dead ringer" as they were thought to be dead but rang the bell. "Dead ringer" now means the same as "spit and image" which means to have an exact likeness, such as twins. Now the "graveyard shift" also came about from here. The people that watched over the dafty coffins for the "dead ringers" was said to have the "graveyard shift" since they had a shift at a graveyard, however now it means any time working really late at night to early hours in the mornings.

That brings us to an end of the death related origins of sayings the we use from day to day. I hope you enjoyed today's post, and if you think any of your friends would like to give this a read, please share it with them, as I ma sure they would thank you from it. If you have any remarks or suggestions on a future post, please tell use down in the comments or on Facebook/Twitter, and while you are there, could you like us and follow us, but if not you can do so by using the associated buttons on the bar to the left. We here at TCSA really love to hear from you, and appreciate any support that is given. I hope you have/had a really good day, and I shall write again overmorrow.

Happy October everyone.

OddballGreg - 5 Terrifying Horror Games

That menacing... thing... is one of the animatronic characters that make Five Nights At Freddy's absolutely TERRIFYING.

Of course. Halloween. Perfect time for scary things like badly done drag costumes and maniacal cackling on certain radio stations which was nicked from the now public domain song "Thriller". It's also when I decide it's a "good" idea to watch people play absurdly scary games. Yay...

Two months ago I wrote an article about Horror games and the Silent Hills Playable Teaser in particular as a result of watching a YouTube commentator, (Jacksepticeye), play it. Of course, in said article, I pointedly indicate what an absolute wuss I am with horror games, and how even watching someone else play them can occasionally leave me in a catatonic state. Of course, Halloween being what it is, I had the FANTASTIC idea that I should write an article about scary horror games... I'm a sucker for punishment apparently. So without further ado, here's 5 Terrifying Horror games that I really don't want to watch... or play.

Five Nights At Freddy's

First up on the list of games that made me act 15 years younger is Five Nights At Freddy's. A rather stressful horror and fear-filled game that has you playing as some unfortunate halfwit who has found himself playing nightshift at a closed down restaurant filled with murderous animatronic characters. This game holds a special place in my mind because it took the idea of fear inducing gameplay, unceremoniously dumped it out the window, and created something several times more terrifying than I had seen up to that point. (Bearing at mind that PT, as mentioned in the article I linked earlier, is the only horror game to make me actually cry.)

If you feel like listening to the fearful screams of an entertaining YouTube commentator as he frantically checks camera's for the approaching characters while begging for his power reserves to last him the night, check out Markiplier's video above.

Amnesia: The Dark Descent

Amnesia: The Dark Descent is the horror game that first made YouTube phenomenon PewDiePie famous following his fairly average Call Of Duty coverage that had attracted him a relatively small audience. Amnesia was the game that made me realize what a tremendous girl I am with horror games. Being the first horror game I had ever seen where there was no ability to fight the monsters, and thus required you to run and hide, was an interesting concept to me. So of course I tried it.

The total result's of my efforts can be surmised by the fact that within the space of 5 minutes, I had managed to scream at a door slam, flail wildly when the lights went out and red roses began falling around the character, spent 3 minutes hiding in a broom closet, and uninstalled the game. This game is absurdly frightening to me, which is ridiculous because my brother played it up until he realized that it revolved around puzzles and promptly wrote it off as junk without so much as a flinch. 

Among The Sleep

Perhaps the least terrifying game on this list, (considering I actually managed to watch it be played from beginning to end), this game is still fairly terrifying considering how many times I nearly fell out of my chair, and the fact that watching one of my friends play it resulted in me diving behind his bed out of sheer fright. (I'm a little girl apparently.) I quite enjoyed this game for it's highly atmospheric and intelligent design, and for the fantastic and highly symbolic story. Of the five, I would likely most recommend watching/playing this slightly short game yet thoroughly terrifying game. 

Slender

Another fan favorite from the "Bro Army" of YouTube personality Pewdiepie, Slender is a game inspired by a almost legendary CreepyPasta horror story which involved a faceless, otherworldly being in a suit taking people and murdering them in the woods. (Lovely.) So naturally people made a game about it and Pewdiepie recorded videos of himself playing it and screaming loudly. (With fair reason I suppose. This game is pretty damn scary.)

Outlast

And lastly, but certainly not least in the scares department, is Outlast, another frightening horror game that makes you unable to do anything more than run and hide which is the reason why my knee is aching while I write this article. By the time Outlast originally came out, I was already so positive that I had no interest in watching even a moment of it be played. Of course, in the pursuit of quality articles for this blog, I ended up watching the first episode of Pewdiepie's playthrough as linked above, and promptly decided that I was definitely not mistaken for that decision. According to the review's and accounts from friends, Outlast is "Scary as S*** Yo'. So if you feel like making going to sleep difficult for yourself, play this. (Teehee)

If not, then you likely value your possibly rare quantities of sleep, much like myself. If you are one such person, or are one of the crazy individuals who think being scared witless is funny, let us know down in the comments below, or via Facebook/Twitter. We here at TCSA love to hear from you. Of course, if you happen to have any horror game enthusiast friends, consider sharing this article with them as well. They may find it entertaining for some bizarre reason or other. Of course, if you would like to read more humorous article's like this one, consider liking the Official TCSA Facebook Page and/or liking us on Twitter using the associated buttons on the bar to the left so that you can get all the latest posts, as they're published. Regardless of what you do, I thank you for having taken the time to read this post; hope that you have/had an absolutely FANTASTIC day, and I will speak again soon.

Happy scares my friends.

JovialJman - Morbid Sayings And Their Origins

Roses are red, and so is blood, it looks like death, hides in a flower bud.

Some things that we say on occasion and let our children say, may just have a very gruesome origin. Many are not definite, but it is interesting that there are these theories to some sayings and songs

Does that "cat have your tongue?"(... no, I am speaking, teehee). This famous saying that is told to people that are quiet when we expect them to be speaking has many theories to its origins, some include that in ancient times in Egypt, cats were very sacred animals, and when someone said something against the ruler, they would have the persons tongue cut out and fed to their cats. Another theory is that sailors were punished with a cat o' none tails, and the pain was so much that it left the sailors speechless. If you have no tongue, can you still "pay through your nose?" This means, today anyway, to pay something at a very high prices as you have no other option, (like masks and costumes the day before Halloween). The origin of this one is also rather unknown. One theory is that when the vikings where still around they made the Irish towns pay a tax, and those that did not pay said tax, they would slit the noses of the people there as a punishment and warning for others.

When trying estimate something, you can use "the rule of thumb." One theory for this one was a law that was said to exist that a husband may beat his wife as long as the stick he was using was no thicker then his thumb. I might be "pulling your leg", but it is one of the origins. Now to pull someones leg means to say something that wasn't true, and when revealing it you may say "I was just pulling your leg." But in the past, when people where robbing a house someone would be on stand by by the rooms of the owner of the house encase they were to wake up. Now this robber would literally pull the owners leg, forcing them to the ground where they could restrain them.

It was once a custom for rather sinister people to add weight to a persons chest to "press them for an answer", however today weights are not used, but we are still pressed for answers when we must give them in a short period of time. Now people in England a while back, did not press people for an answer when recruiting them to the army. "Bottoms up" means to finish your drink, but in England when people were recruiting for the war, these people would slip a coin into unsuspecting peoples drinks and they would not know until they were finished their drinks, and the recruiters said that they then accepted payment for joining the army. So bottoms up meant to lift your glass before drinking to check for this "payment"

When you have to face something you really don't want to, you must "bite the bullet" and just go and do it." This saying comes from time of war where soldiers that had wounds that needed to be treated and needed some sort of surgery, they were given a bullet to bite as there was no anesthetic back then that would have kept long enough to take to war. When a thief is caught in the act, is is said to be "caught read handed" even if their hands were not read. This originated in a time that it was illegal to butcher animals yourself at home, but having fresh meat was ok, so to arrest these people that were doing these butcherings they would have to be caught in the act with blood on their hands, thus "caught read handed" was a literal term.

After some one has sneezed, we say "bless you", but why do we say that? It turns out that medicine was not as amazing as it is today. When someone got sick, there was a good chance of them dying so since England was rather religious at this time, people would say bless you in case you were to die, and this was especially true during the plague. Speaking of which, the nursery rhyme that children around the world sing, has connections to the plague. "Ring around the rosy", was the rush that came when a person was infected by the plague, and those poises in the pockets was to make them smell nice as it was a belief at the time was that diseases where transmitted through bad smells, and when the people were dead, they would actually fall down, (how nice).

I hope you enjoyed the rather gruesome sayings and their origins. If you did, or would like to tell us anything, please do so in the comments, or on Facebook/Twitter. If you have any friends who like knowing useless things or likes to freak people out, please share this post with them as I am sure they would much appreciate it. If you would like to show your support or see more of our posts as they are published, please like us on Facebook or follow us on Twitter, using the associated buttons on the bar to the left. Thank you for taking the time to read today's post and I hope you have/had an awesome day.

Stay healthy people.