Hello and welcome to Storytime Sunday. The day where I tell you about the excessively stupid things I've done, so you don't have to.
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| Illustration may differ from actual occurrences |
Last Sunday I spoke about some of my unintelligent misadventures as an aspiring parkour traceur. This Sunday, I'm talking about my unintelligent misadventures as a stereotypical, bored idiot...
Two years ago during my the amazing adventures of myself and my good friend Jerome, (Or Canoe, as we occasionally call him.), we found ourselves at school over the mid-year holiday's for the years Major Production (read: play) practice typically held over that period. That years cast was particularly large and as such, there were often periods where parts of the cast did not necessarily need to be there. As such, myself and Mr Canoe were waiting up in the school hall's gallery. (That big place on the second floor where the Matrics usually get to sit.) I've got to say though... Boredom Kills!
This was another fine case of times when proper thought processes must have crashed and not had the opportunity to reboot in my head, since I found myself suffering under the unbearable urge to jump off the gallery. (Might I note that jumping off the second floor of most buildings is a very, very bad idea... Please don't do this...)
I'm fairly certain I will never forget the conversation that led up to the decision. Standing beside Jerome, I suddenly looked over the edge and stated "I'm going to jump off of here.". Wisely, his reply: "Don't." Too bad I simply repeated myself despite his better judgement. Now, Jerome may be my best friend, but I don't think I would have bothered past that to try and stop me either. So he simply said "O.K." and watched me be an idiot. (I got him back for this in other ways though, more on that another time. Teehee )
Climbing up onto the wall that separated the gallery from the slightly more than 6 foot drop to the floor below, I realized how frighteningly scary that height actually was... Did that deter me? Nope... It just made me decide to hang off the edge and drop down rather than jump. Did that help? Nope again... (Stupidity can be unassailable at times it would appear. I think I should start referring to myself as a professional idiot.)
So, in the space of a few seconds, I lowered my legs over the edge and slid slowly to the point where I was just gripping the edge with my fingers, still at no point thinking this was a bad idea. The way I saw it, as long as I landed correctly from the height I was now at, being somewhere about 5 feet off the ground, I would be fine. Of course, there's this thing called Murphy's Law. Knee's bent, landing on the balls of my feet, everything was going well until I realized my weight was too far back in my decent. This meant that I was suddenly falling backwards instead of dropping directly onto my legs. I landed with a hearty thump on my rump, much to the surprise of those in the area around me who immediately asked if I was okay. Which I was... at least until I tried to move.
Having landed solidly on my behind, I had injured the muscles surrounding the lower few vertebrae of my spine. (In hindsight, I got off rather lightly in terms of injuries.) The pain wasn't unbearable, but I did walk around like I had a carrot stuck somewhere it shouldn't be for a couple days.
So from this experience, we can surmise two things. Darwinism is a legitimate theory because of people like me, and boredom/stupidity kills. (As well as putting the stupid things you do on the internet. If my old principal is reading this... Sorry. Hehe)
Anyways, I think that's enough from me for one day. Don't forget to leave a comment on how much of an idiot you think I am, or a suggestion on how to avoid bodily harm in the future, or maybe just share this with a friend who's prone to hurting themselves. And of course, as always, I hope you have an AWESOME day.
Walk in peace my friends. (and preferably with more intelligence than I typically display)
