Madness Monday - An obsession with Unicorns

Hello and welcome to Madness Monday. The day where I tell you about the strange and abnormal things I do, so you can feel a little more sane.

This is Charlie, he came to me in a dream.
I was not on anything... I think.

 Unicorns... yes. I like unicorns. (No, I do not watch MLP...) But what I do do, is get excited about awesome pictures of Unicorns for no reason. I also draw them, such as Charlie up above and the 2 fellows below. (Which may or may not be stuck on the wall above my computer *glances about shiftily*)

I actually have no idea why, precisely, I like Unicorns so, but I suppose, like much in my life, I don't need a reason to do something as long as there's no reason to not do it. So Unicorns! Woohoo! This small oddity is also why some of my friends, (read: Mr Canoe/Jerome whom I mentioned previously here), refer to me as Dr. Unikorn.

If you're wondering about my inspiration for the unicorn drawings, the lower 2 are hand drawings done of images I found randomly on the internet; (Google for images of Unicorns, you're likely to find the original ones there.), while Charlie was actually my first original Unicorn drawing, having come to me in perhaps one of my strangest dreams. (Was pretty awesome though.)

I'm by no means a stoner... In fact, I'm much the opposite, and tend to avoid almost all forms of intoxicants usually, so I will have to chalk the dream he was in up to the strange landscape that forms my mind. In any case, as I remember it, the dream started out with me walking into a glade in a forest to find said Unicorn whom I henceforth referred to as Charlie. Noticing a drum set off to the side, I asked Charlie if I may play. He agreed and, while I took position, he stood up and magically produced a guitar out of nowhere, taking up the pose illustrated I illustrated. Apparently, unicorns playing guitars seemed normal to me, (despite his lack of fingers or thumbs), and we started flying while playing dubstep music... We then proceeded to areas that were devoid of color and colored them in with the music, making all the inhabitants dance. There was also a bad Michael Jackson impersonator who got punched...

Yep... I'm pretty sure there's something wrong me... Unicorns I can handle, but bad Michael Jackson impersonators? That's abhorrent.

In any case, I think that's enough from me about my strange obsession with unicorns, if you have something you'd like to ask about my randomness, feel free to leave a comment or maybe share this with a friend you think might find it amusing. Thank you for reading and always, I hope you have/had and AWESOME day.

Walk in peace my friend.

Storytime Sunday - Why jumping off of things is a stupid idea

Hello and welcome to Storytime Sunday. The day where I tell you about the excessively stupid things I've done, so you don't have to.

Illustration may differ from actual occurrences

Last Sunday I spoke about some of my unintelligent misadventures as an aspiring parkour traceur. This Sunday, I'm talking about my unintelligent misadventures as a stereotypical, bored idiot...

Two years ago during my the amazing adventures of  myself and my good friend Jerome, (Or Canoe, as we occasionally call him.), we found ourselves at school over the mid-year holiday's for the years Major Production (read: play) practice typically held over that period. That years cast was particularly large and as such, there were often periods where parts of the cast did not necessarily need to be there. As such, myself and Mr Canoe were waiting up in the school hall's gallery. (That big place on the second floor where the Matrics usually get to sit.) I've got to say though... Boredom Kills!

This was another fine case of times when proper thought processes must have crashed and not had the opportunity to reboot in my head, since I found myself suffering under the unbearable urge to jump off the gallery. (Might I note that jumping off the second floor of most buildings is a very, very bad idea... Please don't do this...)

I'm fairly certain I will never forget the conversation that led up to the decision. Standing beside Jerome, I suddenly looked over the edge and stated "I'm going to jump off of here.". Wisely, his reply: "Don't." Too bad I simply repeated myself despite his better judgement. Now, Jerome may be my best friend, but I don't think I would have bothered past that to try and stop me either. So he simply said "O.K." and watched me be an idiot. (I got him back for this in other ways though, more on that another time. Teehee )

Climbing up onto the wall that separated the gallery from the slightly more than 6 foot drop to the floor below, I realized how frighteningly scary that height actually was... Did that deter me? Nope... It just made me decide to hang off the edge and drop down rather than jump. Did that help? Nope again... (Stupidity can be unassailable at times it would appear. I think I should start referring to myself as a professional idiot.)

So, in the space of a few seconds, I lowered my legs over the edge and slid slowly to the point where I was just gripping the edge with my fingers, still at no point thinking this was a bad idea. The way I saw it, as long as I landed correctly from the height I was now at, being somewhere about 5 feet off the ground, I would be fine. Of course, there's this thing called Murphy's Law. Knee's bent, landing on the balls of my feet, everything was going well until I realized my weight was too far back in my decent. This meant that I was suddenly falling backwards instead of dropping directly onto my legs. I landed with a hearty thump on my rump, much to the surprise of those in the area around me who immediately asked if I was okay. Which I was... at least until I tried to move. 

Having landed solidly on my behind, I had injured the muscles surrounding the lower few vertebrae of my spine. (In hindsight, I got off rather lightly in terms of injuries.) The pain wasn't unbearable, but I did walk around like I had a carrot stuck somewhere it shouldn't be for a couple days.

So from this experience, we can surmise two things. Darwinism is a legitimate theory because of people like me, and boredom/stupidity kills. (As well as putting the stupid things you do on the internet. If my old principal is reading this... Sorry. Hehe)

Anyways, I think that's enough from me for one day. Don't forget to leave a comment on how much of an idiot you think I am, or a suggestion on how to avoid bodily harm in the future, or maybe just share this with a friend who's prone to hurting themselves. And of course, as always, I hope you have an AWESOME day.

Walk in peace my friends. (and preferably with more intelligence than I typically display)

Random Subject Saturday - Why weekends are so short

Hello and welcome to Random Subject Saturday, the day I choose to talk about utter tripe for your entertainment.

An accurate depiction of most people's emotions before
 and after the weekend.

Today, while sitting in the back of vehicle on a rather long drive from a N Gauge Guild Meeting, I realized two things. 1. That I'm rather tired and 2. I hadn't uploaded or even thought what I was going to talk about in this post... (So if you had hopes of me talking about anything interesting or thought provoking, I suggest you stop reading for now and come back another day, this article is not serious in the least.. At all...)

So then you ask, what could I conceivably talk about that I've thought up in almost no time at all? Hell, I dunno, I guess I'll talk about the real reason weekends are so short. I mean, there has to be a reason why we would be forced to go to work/school for 5 longs and agonizing days in a row only to have the infinitesimally small 2 day respite that is the weekend?

The truth of the moment, (*giggles*), is that it is actually a social experiment designed to determine the effects of E.M.I.N.E.M. on the average person's mind. Researchers have found that this E.M.I.N.E.M., which stands for "Extended Mental Inactivity and Neurosis caused by Eternal Monotony", is the leading cause in work related stress and a lack of satisfaction with work and life in general. The government's want to see how this E.M.I.N.E.M. affects the typical person's mind so that they can better control the populace in accordance with their dark alien overlord's demonic orders. (More on him at 8.)

What they don't want you to know is that the weekend is actually just a concept created by humans for 2 days of rest to prevent this new phenomenon from destroying all humanity through insanity. It was determined that: "2 days was long enough to keep us relatively sane by relatively insane scientists who may or may not have been on drugs at the time"; says a reliable source from somewhere on the border of my exceedingly overactive imagination.

Their suggestion for a cure: Listening to the music of a rapper who incidentally has the same name as this strange phenomenon. Also, a complete and utter disregard for any crackpot theories made by anyone that calls themselves "OddballGreg". (Teehee)

So there you have it, news. Straight from the donkey's mouth. Hope you found this mildly entertaining at least ,(I know I was laughing while I wrote it.) and I hope you had/have an AWESOME day.

That's enough out of me. Farewell my compatriots in madness.

Philosophy Friday - Miracles

Hello and welcome to the first Philosophy Friday. The day where I ditch complete humor to talk about profound stuff and make epiphanies... Sometimes, preferably while being funny.

My eventual forearm tattoo

So. Philosophy. That's a fun topic... Perfect for sounding wise, no? Eh, if not, who cares. It's still fun to talk about. Do note that what I talk about below is just personal opinion and in no way meant to offend or belittle. A few days ago I posted the first Madness Monday post which involved a list of inspirational quotes, one of which, you may have noted, was attributed to me. (yes, I'm so cool I quote myself. :D )

The quote goes as follows: "What are miracles but the extraordinary acts of ordinary men?" It's an interesting question that occurred to me a few years ago as an axiom in the argument of fate and destiny. (Yay, a reason to use the word "Axiom") Just so that you as the readers understand what I'm talking about, allow me to quickly define what I'm personally talking about when I talk about fate and destiny.

• Fate: Preordained events that are guaranteed to occur. This is effectively the idea that everything that feels like a choice you may be making is actually guaranteed to have happened. It's the based on the idea that "Free Will" is simply an illusion and that in the same situation under the same circumstances, we would always make the same choice. (Personally, I find this idea rather depressing.)
• Destiny: Events which you were born or made for, but are by no means bound to. The concept behind this being that there may be an intended purpose for your existence, however you maintain free will in your life and may never life up to this purpose. (A preferably existence in my opinion, being that you can choose your own fate.)

So now, how does this tie in to the aforementioned quote? Well, many would argue that miracles are the acts of Gods or other similarly omnipotent beings. Which, for all we know, they just may be in some way? 

(This may be a fair place to note that I am speaking both in conjecture and subjectively in terms of my personal views. I can be, and probably am wrong, but part of being human is being able to be wrong.)

So to begin my argument, I ask, how do you attribute the actions of one person to the actions of another? I have heard many times a friend say something along the lines of: "Hooray, I passed my exams all thanks to the glory of God." or something similar. I do not blame them, (after all, I think everyone needs something to believe in.), however, I must question how they think that their studying and mental ability was not the cause for their success, in the stead of God? To which they may argue that He either: A: Was the motivation for their success; B: The person who gave them the mental alacrity required to exceed expectation; or simply both.

In my opinion, those are both fair arguments as they cannot be debunked and as such legitimate in the face of no counterarguments. "The absence of evidence is not evidence of absence." However, the argument begins to fall apart in the case of when they begin to attribute the actions of another being to Him. I have had several people of religious inclination be boggled by my belief in forgiveness and my wish to help others, despite my near complete lack of faith in anything more than myself. They argue that "I must surely be a miracle of God" to so willingly help even those that would hurt me.

That would be a fair argument, if I were a tool. Unfortunately, I personally believe in two things. Destiny, and myself. I choose to do these things, I choose to forgive and help. So how can my actions be "by the grace of God" when I'm not a religious person? That it something I cannot truly answer. There is no way to say who is wrong, and who is right. However, what I can say, is that the businessman who stops on his way to work to help you change a tire, or the lady that buys food for children on the street despite being hard up for cash herself, are not accidents or chance happenings. People do as they do, and for some, what they do is seen as miracles by others, either gifts from God, or gifts from man. The definition matters not, simply that miracles occur when the ordinary man or woman decides to take the time out of their lives to do something extraordinary.

I often find that media these days is an often overlooked source of wisdom. Years ago I watched the movie "Bruce Almighty" starring Jim Carrey and Morgan Freeman. In that movie, the line "You want a miracle? Be the miracle." is said. And that my friends, is how I have always lived my life. By taking the time out to help when I can. And honestly, it is a rewarding way for me to live in simply the contentment I find in the joy of those I've helped. That is enough reward for me.

Anyways, I hope that I have given you something of interest to consider, or at least hopefully not bored you to death. Thank you for reading and, as always, have an AWESOME day.

Auf wiedersehen meine freunde.

Thespian Thursday - How I became an Actor

Hello and welcome to the first Thespian Thursday. The day where I tell you about Acting and all things related to it.

Today, I figured I'd tell you the story of how I became an actor since.. well since it was almost completely accidental to be honest. (And utterly spontaneous for the most part.)

A couple years back, ironically in Grade 11 at school, (apparently that's the year I did everything.), a friend of mine had suggested I join the backstage crew to help set the stage for performances and shows. Having never done any activities after school before, I had a blast of a time. It was something of an epiphany for me, realizing how much more there was to life than video games. (Before that year, all I ever seemed to do with my days was go to school, sleep and play games. Sounds exciting doesn't it?)

So how did that make me an actor? Well, having been doing backstage work for a few months, I found myself sitting outside the auditions for a play that the school wished to use to compete in the Edenvale Acting and Drama Society's (EADS) One Act Play Festival. (The irony that the first play I was to ever take part in was called "Asylum" is not lost on me.) In any case, the Backstage Crew's Stage Manager, being the fine gentleman who told us what to do and when, was sitting in on the auditions for said play, and I was sitting outside waiting for him to finish up. Suddenly, looking up as I hear the door open, I see his head peak out of the door, look down at me and say in his friendly voice: "Hey buddy, You want to audition?" A turning point in my life if ever there was one. I'm not exactly sure what went through my head at the precise moment... probably nothing which is occasionally possible, even for me; but I did say "Sure." in less than a second.

Next I knew, there was an excerpt from a script in my hand and I was outside trying to be a madman. Ironically not very difficult as was noted by my soon-to-be-director post audition with the humorous comment: "Are you sure you don't actually belong in an Asylum?" 

That play famously went on to be the first production from my school in several years to make it to the EADS finals, netting 3rd place, 1 medal for best actress, and nominations for near all other categories, including 2 nominations for Best Male Actor in a Drama for myself and my friend whom, funnily enough, portrayed the role I originally auditioned for.

Following that, I participated in an additional 3 more productions at my school in the year and a half I had left of being a student. Two Major Productions and another EADS festival in which I was nominated for best supporting actor. I was also the recipient of 2 years worth of cultural full colors from my school. (Okay, I'll stop blowing my trumpet now.)

All in all, those were some of the most amazing experiences of my life, and the first thing in my life for which I grew a burning passion. No other activity made me as excited to get up in the morning to go do. The hours were absolutely horrific, but not once did I ever complain, because, to be honest, there was nothing better to be doing than those acting practices. (Shush, I just got something in my eye. *Sniffle*)

So that's how I discovered what I wanted to do with my life. And, as far as I'm concerned, still am going to do with my life. :D 

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this small insight into my life and what motivates me, and I hope you have an AWESOME day. Don't forget to leave a comment or suggestion if there's something you would like to know more about, and maybe share this if you think that there's someone who wants to know about me for some reason. I dunno. 

That's enough from me. Kuaga Rafiki

Website Wednesday - The Great Model Train Show

Hello and welcome to Website Wednesday, the day of the week where I tell you about awesome stuff on the internet and how to find it.

Image property of http://nggosa.co.za/wp/

Today, I'm talking about MODEL TRAINS. Well, to be technical, I'm talking about a group of people based in South Africa that "play" with Model Trains, in a manner of speaking. I'm also talking about a huge event they're holding in October. (Because I'll be there, and it'll be awesome. :D )

The N Gauge Guild Of South Africa is a non-profit organization of train and model enthusiasts alike who gather every 6 weeks, (That makes it sound like a cult. Sorry. XD ), at St Ursula's Convent in Krugersdorp, South Africa, as well as exhibit their majestic Modular Model Train Layout at various events throughout the year. 

So why am I talking about this on Website Wednesday then? Well, two reasons really; the NGG (N Gauge Guild) is rather active online, they're website found here is regularly updated with the guild's exploits, (Which I tend to attend on occasion, so that automatically makes it awesome.) They also maintain a regular email newsletter which contains all the information and updates with regards to events that the guild will be attending and exhibiting at, as well as the occasional bit of mischievous humor. (Teehee)

Are you old? Or... not old? Doesn't really matter, if you like actual running model trains and amazing scenic landscapes that the trains can go across, then I suggest you visit their website that I've mentioned twice already and their Facebook page. 

Better yet, the NGG is in the process of organizing one of their own events and it's going to be pretty awesome. (That's what that poster above is talking about.) It's going to be huge, there are going to be a lot of awesome things there, like the absolutely impressive Model Railway Layouts I mentioned earlier, most likely in all manner of scales ranging all the way from the minuscule O gauge to the massive Garden Scale variety, some of which, if I'm not mistaken, even runs on actual coal. (Oh yes, I'll also be there, can't forget that.)
I highly suggest you head over to the the The Great Model Train Expo's Facebook page so that you can see all the information as it becomes available. Even if you aren't a huge model train enthusiast, come anyway. It'll be a great day of great fun with great people. (Great enough for you? You bet.)

Too lazy to click links? That's fine. Follow me on Twitter at @OddballGreg where I will be tweeting away like your typical irritating bird about the details, whenever they come available, under the hashtag #GMTE (That stand's for Great Model Train Expo if you're wondering.)

Anyways, as always, thank you for reading and have an AWESOME day. (I know I will.) Don't forget to leave a comment or suggestion and share this with your friends if you think they like small mechanical trains traversing small scenic terrain. (Some pictures of which I'll show below if you want to see.)

That's enough from me. Tot siens mense.

The following images are property of http://nggosa.co.za/wp/

Technology Tuesday - Why messaging makes your brain melt

Welcome to the first Technology Tuesday, the day where I talk about all things related to technology since that stuff is interesting...

Today's Topic: Why messaging does not actually make your brain melt, but does make you terrible at real life conversations. (I had no idea how to title this post.)

I dunno if you've heard, (just maybe... I mean, it's possible you missed it.), but a rather massive amount of people in the world do this thing where they press little buttons on a mobile device, (or more recently, just fondle the damned thing.), in order to send each other messages. Apparently this "messaging" is taking the world by storm. I personally don't believe it'll take off. Next you'll be telling me that we'll have metal boxes in our homes that show us stories or cars that drive themselves.

Anyways, that's not what I wanted to talk about today. (As cool as those things are.) My good friend Yestin Johnson (@yestinj) and I started talking about a rather interesting social issue that's been arising as a result of the messaging that's going on these days is that younger generations of people are beginning to lose touch with the finer nuances of actual face to face conversation. (Yes, that means if you're old, you are entirely safe. Your kids aren't though...)

Bearing in mind that the original article that brought this topic to my interest was actually brought to my attention in one of my final school exams (but so was Hatsune Miku ^_^), so you will have to excuse me for paraphrasing. As I remember it, the article spoke about how the younger generations that were growing up with this easily accessible technology and social media were developing in ways different to previous generations. They found that among other things, these younger generations were losing the ability to take note of social cue's such as vocal tone and body language and even emotional understanding. (basically, they're becoming robots. Just kidding.)

As I remember it, the article discussed the fact that these younger generations were losing the ability to differentiate the emotions of shock, anger, fear and excitement, due to their typically similar associated facial expressions. I dunno about you, but when I'm excited and someone asks why I'm angry, that's a bit confusing...

But it's not all doom and gloom. An article on the blog Nvate found here speaks about this subject in more depth, (and perhaps less humorously), than myself and makes note of the fact that the internet has become a great place for the development of social skills in the shy and those uncomfortable in public situations, provided that they do not spend all their time doing so online. The key, as I always say, is moderation.

So my advice is simple, be a good parent and take an active part in your kids life and, most importantly, help them to understand that, as cool as the internet is, real living happens in the real world. Here's a fun song from Rhett&Link to help get the message across.

As always, thank you for reading and I hope you have an AWESOME day. Got anything to add or suggest, do so in the comments, maybe I'll even talk about it in my next blog post.

Anyways, that's enough out of me. Adiós amigos.

Madness Monday - Inspirational Quotes Day

Madness Monday... the day of the week where I try and find a way to make you feel uncomfortable so you appreciate your mundane day to day existence... or... you know... just talk about madness maybe.

Here's a picture of me looking like a crazed murderer because
I didn't know what picture to upload for this post... (Shhhhhhhh)

Mondays are hard. We all know that. Just the idea of getting up in the morning is a miserable prospect for a lot of us. (Those of us that aren't crazy like me at any rate.) This Monday had been hard for even me though. I could not actually think of a good subject to talk about in a blog post. I had eventually even begun writing a story akin to the "This Morning" in one of my other blog posts. However, strangely enough, in my typically daily tweeting like a typical twit, one of my dear friends began tweeting inspirational quotes to which I replied with my own. (Jumping joys of goodness, an idea falls into my lap.  *claps hands*)

Inspiration is always a handy thing to have, so here is a list of some of the best one's we threw to each other to help you guys get through the Monday and, with luck, the rest of the week.

• "I'm proud of the scars in my soul. They remind me that I have an intense life" - Paulo Coelho 
• "Do not pray to for an easier life. Pray to be stronger men." - John F Kennedy 
• "Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder" - Rumi 
• "To live is to suffer, to survive is to find some meaning in the suffering." - Friedrich Nietzsche 
• "Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day" - Sally Koch 
• "What are miracles but the extraordinary acts of ordinary men?" - Me 
• "Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head" - Ann Landers 
• "I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball 
• "When you have a clear purpose, you won't have time for negativity" - Mark Victor Hansen 
• "It's better to be a lion for a day than a sheep all your life." - Elizabeth Kenny 
• "Instead of waiting for the moment, live the moment" - R. Green 
• "It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important." - Arthur Conan Doyle 
• "Rudeness is a weak imitation of strength" - Eric Hoffer

Today's word of the day is "Axiom". I don't know why, but every time I find a useful word like that which I haven't seen before, I get really excited. :D Huzzah for Axiom.

Anyway's, I would like to thank the wonderful Madeline De Franca (@MiniiCanha) for bestowing upon me the idea for today's Madness Monday post (and for informally naming today "Inspirational Quotes Day". :D ) She's a really awesome person and you should definitely be following. In all likelihood our quote train continued for long after, but time waits for no man. 

As always, thank you for reading, and have an AWESOME day.

Adeus Amigos

Storytime Sunday - Parkour and Muscle Damage

And it is time for the first ever... Storytime Sunday! Complete with memories of pain and stupidity and advisories to would-be Traceurs.

Ahh parkour, a much loved ex-hobby of mine. Before I continue, I would like to preface the particular story I'm about to tell, I should mention, as I've said a few times in the past, that I am an idiot and prone to stupidty occasionally. That said... lets begin.

For those of you who have yet to hear about Parkour (Or it's related, but actually different cousin, Free Running), it is something of a mindset and method of movement. To use a cliched style of speech, it's "A way of life." To describe it in a very simple and easy to understand way; Parkour is the basis of efficient movement. It's getting from place A to place B as quickly as possible. It's the "Through instead of around" argument. For comparisons sake, (and because I'm likely to get annoyed with you if you do a flip and call it Parkour), Free Running is something of an offshoot from Parkour. The objective with Free Running no longer being the fastest traversal of space, but the most stylish. Free Runners do flips and arbitrary movements that are visually appealing and obviously difficult to pull off, but the their objective is different. Anyways, now that you know what Parkour is, lets get back to how young people (AKA me) can be stupid and hurt themselves.

Once upon a time some young (well.... young-er) version of myself stumbled upon this wonderful new "sport" known as parkour. I say "sport" because it is not, in technicality, an competitive activity, but rather a method of movement. So being the bright and happy go lucky, devil may care lad that I was, I pulled on my track-pants and running shoes and went at it. As I'm sure you can guess, a relatively unfit and untrained person jumping and hanging off of things, or jumping off of them, is not a particularly safe nor intelligent thing to be doing. (In hindsight, at least I didn't jump off a building.)

This guy... is better than I was...

So where's the issue then you ask? Well, one day somewhere along my 11th grade I decided to hang off of some metal bars and was rebuffed by the searing pain of torn muscle in my left shoulder. Much to my luck, my injury was not especially serious to any degree, however it did serve as an effective wake up call to stop behaving like a brainless monkey hanging from metal trees (Nobody ever threw peanuts at me though...) The tear was not especially severe, although it hurt like hell, and while I still have full control of my arm in all capacities, I do have a patch of skin that is near completely dead to the touch over my shoulder blade. (oooh, Poke it!)

So what can I tell you that you should do if you would like to do Parkour. Well... I would say "Don't"... but that's crap, we both know Parkour is awesome. So what I will advise is that you don't just put on some sneakers and start climbing things. Joke's aside, it's a good way to hurt and even kill yourself as many a news report over the years has since told. (And I always say, if you're gonna kill yourself, do it with style. Splattered bodies are unsightly.)

Rather, go do some research. The internet is, I find, your friend in many a case. There are tons of resources on the internet to help you get on track towards becoming a Traceur (Or Free Runner) and taking part in this awesome activity. (Or breaking your face accidentally.)  Wikihow has tons of tutorials of varying quality on subjects such as this one on doing the Safety Roll: http://www.wikihow.com/Do-Parkour-Safety-Rolls
Please learn how to do the roll... Like... seriously. That can save your life.
Youtube also has a veritable mass of similarly themed tutorials as always for those like myself who need a bit more visual information to figure things out. 

And lastly, there are probably hundreds of Parkour and Free Running groups across the world who are more than willing to show newbies the ropes so they don't end up dead or maimed. Being a resident of South Africa, I know of the local group for my South African; ParkourSA, who maintain an active Facebook and Twitter following and regularly help would be runners in organizing to train with others. I highly recommend you check them out, either on their Facebook Page or by dropping them a Tweet on @ParkourSA. For my international readers, a quick Google will likely have you where you need to be in no time.

Anyways, hopefully you have been amused or educated by this lengthy lament about the necessity for research. Or at least become less likely to accidentally commit suicide.

Don't forget to leave a comment or suggestion and share this with anyone you think might injure themselves without this information.

Have an AWESOME day, and I bid you adieu.

Random Subject Saturday - Structure

Today's Random Subject Saturday blog post is sponsored by the word "Structure".

Right you are, you devilishly handsome man. As you might have, or not, figured from reading my previous blog posts, there has not been a whole lot of structure to what I wrote about. (What you talking about? There has not been any structure.) *Cough*

Anyways, I figured that people on the internet like to know what they're getting when they start reading a blog, so I decided on a list of general guidelines with which to structure my blog posts so that you guys know what you're going to get each time you come back. Of course, this blog is primarily for entertainment, I would prefer to be making you guys laugh as much as possible, but aside from that I also would like to talk about interesting things in the world and in my life since, really, most humor comes from those things anyway. So below are the names which give a rough indication of what I'll be talking about each day... mostly.

Madness Monday 

Technology Tuesday 

Website Wednesday 

Thespian Thursday 

Philosophy Friday 

Random Subject Saturday 

Storytime Sunday

Anyways, that brings us to the end of our not so random, Random Subject Saturday. Have a suggestions for next week's Random Subject? Let me know in the comments below.

Cheers People

Rebranding

Rebranding. Also, Borderlands. Nuff said.

For those that want more though, I thought it was time to really bring some zazz and pizazz to this blog. (Really? Did you actually just say that? *Goes to retch in a corner*)

Anyways, the above is essentially the basis of the artstyle I'm going to try and infuse into the blog. That and it's a homage to one of my favorite game series of all time. Borderlands :D *Fistpump*

Anyways, the blog is likely to continue to evolve for a while, so don't be surprised if things aren't as they were each time you look.

That's enough out of me for one day I think.

Peace people.

Hair growth and it's consequences

I used to be an adventurer like you... until I shaved my beard off. Actually, nope, still an adventurer.

At some really late hour today that I shouldn't mention for fear of giving away my terrible sleeping habits. (It was 12PM.) I got out of bed and took a picture of the woolly mammoth I had become in 4 months of prolonged hair growth. And then I had it cut off. Why? Because I realized that having that much hair is IRRITATING. My proudest congratulations to my women readers dealing with that on a daily basis. I commend you. Because it gets hot, itchy, takes forever to dry and causes weird habits. Especially the beard.

If you're wondering why then, did I allow my hair to grow as it did? Quite simply, because it was the first time I'd ever really had the opportunity to do so. (That and some notion in the back, front and sides of my head about growing a Norse Beard and putting purple highlights in my hair. I still say that would've looked cool.) But moving on, the South African education system demands a certain standard of appearance... which is to say you can't look like anything other than each other. Cut your hair, shave and wear the school uniform properly. And to a degree I believe that those requirement are entirely justified in raising upstanding children. But it also means we're all going to let ourselves go when we matriculate simply because we've never had the opportunity to do so before.

So what can I take away from my near half year of Wookie kinship? Hmmm a couple things. Firstly, people are scared of beards. I felt many a shifty glance from security guard and pedestrian alike simply due to my voluminous locks (and fuzz). That didn't bother me overly much, minus the fact that women are more likely to scream out "help" when you want to ask for their number, but that might be unrelated... Moving on.

Secondly, in case you weren't aware, hair on your face can get rather out of control. I actually found myself combing my beard into place in the morning as much as my actual head hair. So that was an interesting experience and also fairly ticklish.

And lastly, having long hair is, again, rather irritating for a couple of reasons. Whether it be the extended drying period, the knots, the people fearing for their lives or the fact that you unconsciously play with it CONSTANTLY, it matters not, the fact is, I'm truthfully glad it's gone.

My advice to any would be beard growers reading this, do it. Certainly. I live by the philosophy of trying anything twice and think it is an extremely liberating way to live. Just don't expect your face to be very comfortable...

That's enough about beards from me. Hope you all have a lovely day and thank you for reading.

Ciao miei amici.

An obsession with boots

To make it sound disproportionately more important than it actually is, I have a confession to make...

I LOVE Boots.

The type is not necessarily an issue but I have found that for some reason I really love boots. Shin Boots, Ankle Sneakers, Knee High Boots, Army Boots, Ladies Boots, even those weird things goth people wear that I don't know the name of... never mind. Point remains, I have something of an obsession with boots.
In my lifetime I have done a fair few salesman jobs working at the yearly HobbyX Exposition for The Model Train Shop and Aviation Shop at the Coca Cola Dome. (Money is money, don't judge. XD )

Some people that went to those shows might say i'm weird... *Looks shiftily from side to side*
My near obsession with boots meant I would occasionally walk up to people to genuinely compliment them for their choice in attire. Not untruthfully, if they suit you, I'm not going to say they do, but I really like boots so when I see people wearing them I get hyper. (I'm not going to talk about the awkward situations this habit got me into though... Well... maybe later.)

I've owned several pairs of boots in my life, and in fact am wearing a pair of Ankle Sneakers as I write this. I'm fairly sure that "Boots" is a fairly unorthodox choice in obsessions, but it's better than most of the other things I could like. Such as MyLittlePony... That shit is weird... which is why I don't watch it... often... on Sundays when I'm bored. Shut up ok...

Anyways, that's enough about my strange obsession with desiccated bovine hide that's been ruthlessly punctured and tied to a rubber slap to protect feet.

Catcha Later

The Hisense U820 Smartphone - A (informal) review

The above is a Hisense U820. It is the smartphone I am currently using and also the source of much ire in me.

I'll explain the ire comment in a second, but to start, allow me to start with the basics. The Hisense U820 is the first touchscreen phone I have ever owned personally, having upgraded from a Blackberry previously (Yes, South Africa was in a phase about Blackberry's), but I had experience handling other people's smartphones. Now understandably in hindsight, there was not a massive upgrade to be had in getting this phone, but prior to it's purchase I had not even heard of Hisense, and felt in my typical "Try anything twice" mode of thinking, thought it would be interesting to try. Fucking... Idiot...

Now before you think: "Well why didn't you check some reviews before you got it?" I should mention that I happen to be an idiot... sometimes... Also, my brother knows a lot about smartphones, so I took it under his advisement that it was an alright phone, which in honesty, it is.

Squarely, you are already asking for trouble when buying old technology. Android or no, things change. Oh yes, speaking of android, I should get the phone features from somewhere.

Android 2.3

1 GHz Processor

3.5" Full touch screen

1420 mAh battery

Dual-SIM, Dual Standby

512MB on board memory

2.0M Auto Focus Camera

There we go. Now, it has all the usual gizmo's and doodad's you would expect of an Android smartphone like installing apps and moving the homescreen etc. The usual gimmicks. There are however a few of downside's to this phone, especially in today's digital world.

Firstly, notice this thing has 512MB of on board memory and Android 2.3. The first issue, it can't update it's OS. It is physically incapable of downloading a new version of Android. Why? I don't know, I'm not a tech geek. (really... no really? Okay, maybe a little.) Moving on. Beside that irritant, it has also deemed that a couple apps, such as Youtube, Gmail, Google Maps, etc as well as the default keyboard program TouchPal must be stored on the phone instead of on the SD card. 

Doesn't really sound like much of an issue except it tries to update those programs constantly. Why is that a problem? 512MB is too small for everything to be up to date at the same time. *Bashes head onto desk*

This phone attempts daily to update programs despite knowing it doesn't have the space. That is stupid... Furthermore, downloading further applications (when they are supported by it's archaic OS) requires that they first be download TO the phone before they can be moved to the SD card. Which means anytime I want to install a new app, I have to play digital tetris with my internal storage by deleting programs and then re-downloading them. The definition of joy.

Finally, the fact that makes me utterly P.O'd with this phone and the reason for my aforementioned ire is the fact that the U820 closes my Wi-Fi and Data connections when it is locked. I am not a technologically inept person. But there has been no obvious reference to a setting or option that causes this and there is no mention of it on the internet. That aside, this is a rather large issue for me because I now have to be an OCD idiot and unlock my phone every five seconds to maintain the connections, lest I not know of any messages I receive. To be blunt... that's STUPID.

In any case, the Hisense U820 is not a terrible phone. It does redeem itself in being fairly functional for it's price and relative age. It sends and receives calls and SMS's, it can run *some* apps and it's battery tends to last about a day with my frequent OCD message checks and other use which is fair considering I've had the phone since January. 

But it's still an idiot phone and I look forward to my upgrade.

Anyways. That's been my review/rant for the Hisense U820. Please have a lovely day/night.

Au Revoir Mon Ami (No, I don't know French)

Faulty Hardware and the joys it brings...

The above is an accurate description of how I feel at this current juncture in time.

You may have noticed that there has been a rather large period of silence since my last post on this blog. If I hadn't bothered to take this blog seriously, I'd have put that down to boredom... but alas no. Like my fellow facedesking compatriot above, there is an actual reason to my silence.

For reasons beyond my grasp, my graphics card has decided it has had enough of my prolific photo editing abuse and has promptly given up doing much useful with itself. While still functional, due to a very strange error concerning the way the OpenGL drivers in Photoshop utilize it which developed over the course of a few months, I am no longer able to effectively do much in Photoshop. And I spent a good few hours trying to find out why but the sad reality is that enabling OpenGL in Photoshop, (that's what lets me use all the cool features to be simple), makes my graphics drivers crash and, in turn, Photoshop to crash. Huzzah. You Bastard... On the upside, if I have a few hours of life to waste, the simpler aspects of Photoshop do work... very... very... slowly. So joys abound.

In any case, seeing as graphics cards are hardly cheap, I will not be spending overmuch time frustrating myself pointlessly with semi-functionality until such time as a replacement is found. Until then, I've heard bird-watching is interesting? 

Scratch that, I'm going to go beat my head on a desk until the resulting vibrations within my cranial cavity begin to sound like music. Or until it hurts. Whichever comes first.

Later Gators.