JovialJMan - Mythical Creatures and Their Uses

"Turns out there's no pictures of mythical creatures on the internet. Who would've guessed?" - OddballGreg

Have you ever wondered how mythical creatures would fit into society or if they would even help us. It could be interesting to see how the world would be different if these fantastical beasts were an actual part of our everyday lives.

The following is a list of some of the mythical creatures I know of and the uses they would have in society. I use the assumption that they would be domesticated in some way to help in society but still may keep some of the bad traits they may have. Most of these creatures are from Greek mythology.

Unicorns - are beautiful creatures, but as the myths go, it is not tamable by man, thus making it is a very dangerous creature. In Harry Potter, the blood of the unicorn would be able to heal any wound but at a price, so for anything other than their beauty and their uses as pretty horses, they are rather pointless. (XD see what I did there)

Dragons - can emit fire from their mouths. In movies such as "How to Train Your Dragon", and series such as "Game Of Thrones", people seem to be able to tame them to some extent. The Fire breath would be of use for starting fires, melting metals and smoldering your enemies. (sorry Kraznys mo Nakloz)

Centaurs - all but one in Greek mythology were unruly and got drunk often. Except for the horse part there are a lot of people who act like that today so they would just kinda blend in wouldn't they?

Giants - are very angry creatures that throw rocks, trees, (and people), at Mt. Olympus for fun. The only use they would have is moving heavy things and the destruction of unwanted land/buildings. (And throwing people.)

Griffins - are amazing creatures. Their feathers are believed to change colour in the presence of poison and their nests are made out of gold. So they would be able to assist in gold mining and their feathers could be made into something that detects poison.

Trolls - They already exist, and are natives of the internet. Wish they didn't. Let's move on.

Harpies - are women mixed with birds. So yeah...

Hydra - is a beast that has usually 6 to 9 heads and will regrow 2 heads if one is chopped off. So if it's true that 2 heads are better than one, then this is the best creature in the list.

Kraken - is a huge sea creature that devours ships and sea goers. SUSHI. 'nuff said.

Pegasus - is a white winged horse that was entrusted to bring Zeus his bolts and thunder. He would be used as a faster means of travel to someone that would be able to afford such a thing. (Because obviously somebody is going to charge you to ride them.)

Phoenix - is a beautiful bird that is born from the ashes of another Phoenix. It is believed that it's tears can heal any wound and, that until its death, it is completely resilient to fire. So they would be able to look for survivors in a burning building and try and rescue them, and they could be useful in winter.

Sphinx - were the guardians to tombs and pyramids. They would make a rather good watchdog(cat?), provided they don't sleep all day. 

Titans - were the rulers before the Olympians. They are of enormous size, of which one is said to hold up the earth. So they could move anything including planets. 

Mermaids - have the torso and head of a female and the lower end of a fish. So yeah...

Sirens - would sing songs to entice sailors to steer their ships towards them and often into rocks, leading to a very water grave for the sailors aboard. They would make really good music and be able to make instruments out of your bones for others to play. (Teehee)

Anyways, if you have enjoyed this article, or have other uses for mythical creatures perhaps, then please let us know in the comments below or over Facebook or Twitter. If you have any friends that enjoy mythical stuff or are really into Greek mythology, please share it with them. They will probably thank you for it. If you would like to read more posts like this one, do be sure to like our Facebook page and/or follow us on Twitter using the associated buttons on the bar to the left so you can get the latest posts as they go up. Regardless of what you do, I do hope you have a fantastic day and thank you for reading.

Be wary of the trolls my friends, farewell.

Website Wednesday - Newgrounds (Flash Portal)

Hello and welcome to Website Wednesday; the day of the week where I tell you about some strange website that kept me sane when I felt bored, and then crack jokes about the strange things there.

Image take from http://www.newgrounds.com/. I sat here for 10 minutes trying to think of something funny to say here...  I got nothing...

You've had them. I've had them. Those days where simply nothing seems to be holding your interest, and it's likely that you are going to bash your face on your desk out of sheer frustration if that doesn't change quickly. Newgrounds is to the bored what alcohol is to the sad. Not actually good for you, but better than nothing.

Back in high school, (and probably before it), I had significant issues with boredom... Namely, things were boring as hell often, which led to a great deal of frustration in my days while I prayed for something to do. Thank goodness for the internet as they say, as I found Newgrounds, an online flash portal, (That's internet speak for a website that links you to other things.), filled with all manner of strange games and videos that make you question the sanity of the world. (Not that I cared, some of them are really fun! Teehee)

Founded in the year of my birth (1995) by Tom Fulp, Newgrounds is something of a social media hub which hosts user uploaded flash games and videos, music and art that other registered users can comment on and rate for the rest of the community. While hardly the best of all those things, it certainly is nice as a convergent place to find them. Some of the games are good and have kept me busy in my times of dire need; the videos are strange enough to even make me question humanity; the music is occasionally good and typically usable with the authors permission, which some have found handy for a variety of reasons and the art, like DeviantART, has some gems in it midst the slightly less shiny submissions.

All in all, Newgrounds is good for staving off boredom on the days that it strikes hard, even if your time spent on the site isn't precisely the most productive way you're likely to ever spend it. In any case, I have linked a few submissions from the site that I personally found fairly entertaining at one point or another. Be sure to check them out, and let me know what you think of them or any other good submissions you find in the comments or over Facebook or Twitter. Also, don't forget to share this article with any bored friends of yours, they might appreciate the opportunity to pass some hours unproductively. If you would like to read more articles like this one, be sure to like my Facebook page and/or follow me on Twitter to get the latest posts, as they're uploaded. Regardless of what you do, I thank you for taking the time to read this article; hope that you have/had an absolutely FANTASTIC day, and I will speak again tomorrow.

Later peepz. (That's how they talk on the internet right?)

• Reimagine :The Game:
• Glorious Morning
• Paragon X9: Chaoz Fantasy
• The Last Stand
• The Last Stand 2
• Breaking Bad Tribute
• Annika
• Starcraft Terran Medic
• Starcraft Terran Ghost
• Dad's Home

Storytime Sunday - Why jumping off of things is a stupid idea

Hello and welcome to Storytime Sunday. The day where I tell you about the excessively stupid things I've done, so you don't have to.

Illustration may differ from actual occurrences

Last Sunday I spoke about some of my unintelligent misadventures as an aspiring parkour traceur. This Sunday, I'm talking about my unintelligent misadventures as a stereotypical, bored idiot...

Two years ago during my the amazing adventures of  myself and my good friend Jerome, (Or Canoe, as we occasionally call him.), we found ourselves at school over the mid-year holiday's for the years Major Production (read: play) practice typically held over that period. That years cast was particularly large and as such, there were often periods where parts of the cast did not necessarily need to be there. As such, myself and Mr Canoe were waiting up in the school hall's gallery. (That big place on the second floor where the Matrics usually get to sit.) I've got to say though... Boredom Kills!

This was another fine case of times when proper thought processes must have crashed and not had the opportunity to reboot in my head, since I found myself suffering under the unbearable urge to jump off the gallery. (Might I note that jumping off the second floor of most buildings is a very, very bad idea... Please don't do this...)

I'm fairly certain I will never forget the conversation that led up to the decision. Standing beside Jerome, I suddenly looked over the edge and stated "I'm going to jump off of here.". Wisely, his reply: "Don't." Too bad I simply repeated myself despite his better judgement. Now, Jerome may be my best friend, but I don't think I would have bothered past that to try and stop me either. So he simply said "O.K." and watched me be an idiot. (I got him back for this in other ways though, more on that another time. Teehee )

Climbing up onto the wall that separated the gallery from the slightly more than 6 foot drop to the floor below, I realized how frighteningly scary that height actually was... Did that deter me? Nope... It just made me decide to hang off the edge and drop down rather than jump. Did that help? Nope again... (Stupidity can be unassailable at times it would appear. I think I should start referring to myself as a professional idiot.)

So, in the space of a few seconds, I lowered my legs over the edge and slid slowly to the point where I was just gripping the edge with my fingers, still at no point thinking this was a bad idea. The way I saw it, as long as I landed correctly from the height I was now at, being somewhere about 5 feet off the ground, I would be fine. Of course, there's this thing called Murphy's Law. Knee's bent, landing on the balls of my feet, everything was going well until I realized my weight was too far back in my decent. This meant that I was suddenly falling backwards instead of dropping directly onto my legs. I landed with a hearty thump on my rump, much to the surprise of those in the area around me who immediately asked if I was okay. Which I was... at least until I tried to move. 

Having landed solidly on my behind, I had injured the muscles surrounding the lower few vertebrae of my spine. (In hindsight, I got off rather lightly in terms of injuries.) The pain wasn't unbearable, but I did walk around like I had a carrot stuck somewhere it shouldn't be for a couple days.

So from this experience, we can surmise two things. Darwinism is a legitimate theory because of people like me, and boredom/stupidity kills. (As well as putting the stupid things you do on the internet. If my old principal is reading this... Sorry. Hehe)

Anyways, I think that's enough from me for one day. Don't forget to leave a comment on how much of an idiot you think I am, or a suggestion on how to avoid bodily harm in the future, or maybe just share this with a friend who's prone to hurting themselves. And of course, as always, I hope you have an AWESOME day.

Walk in peace my friends. (and preferably with more intelligence than I typically display)