Technology Tuesday - Aura Kingdom (Lolicom Paradise)

Hello and welcome to Technology Tuesday; the day of the week where I explain what a lolicom is, and why this game is mostly only for them.

Now Loading: Grindquest with cuteness sprinkles.

You ever played an MMORPG that was more or less exactly the same as all the others? Aura Kingdom is kind've like that, except it tries to win hearts with it's cuteness and lolicom attraction. I played this game for aproximately 2 days before wanting to facedesk repeatedly out of boredom. Lets talk about why.

Ironically, before I start, I should point out that if I continue to talk about games every Tuesday, I'm going to have to rename the segment. In any case, Aura Kingdom is essentially like every other MMORPG (Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game), except in aesthetics. Made by Aeria Games, I discovered Aura Kingdom from a Steam friend who was continually playing this game each day.

Under the advisement that the game was good if you liked "Anime and RPG's", and was a game version of the Anime "Sword Art Online", I took it that it might be fairly good. This was further aided by my wish to play a an MMORPG as the last one I had played had been Shaiya, another game by Aeria games. (I had grown tired of that after several months as well.)

In any case, I downloaded them game, started it up and was met with cute lolli's and Unicorn pets. (The game is almost worth playing for the unicorn, as I showed on last friday's header image, but not quite.) Before I continue, I should probably explain what a lollicom is. Lollicom is essentially the concatenation of lolli and com. Com is short for complex as in something you're obsesses about, and a lolli is a term for an anime character which looks very young, (like a little girl typically), despite their age in terms of the story. So somebody who is a lollicom... is probably a despicable human being. (Generally, there are always exceptions.)

In any case, most of the characters in the game look like little girls who struggle to shop for large enough bra's, and the men look effeminate enough that it's not surprising most of their costumes involve heeled shoes. The cuteness aspect was quite funny, and to it's credit, perhaps the most unique thing Aura Kingdom does.

Too bad that doesn't redeem how boring it is. Aura Kingdom does an impeccable job of doing the same as more or less every other MMORPG out there, with an endless supply of fetch quests, kill X creatures, and craft this item. It tries to pretend it's better with a completely unvoiced story with tons of text that has a fairly interesting premise, but I found by the end of the tutorial I was already pretty much skipping through the dialogue with the freely given "skip" button; simply to get to what would hopefully be more interesting gameplay.

Tell you what though, if you like staring at a bar, pressing buttons as their timers finish repeatedly, then maybe this will be fun for you. Too bad playing one MMO like this for a few months was my lifetime fill of such gameplay, so the combat was as dull as the story. Even better is that you can simply click the text of each objective in the journal, and your character will automatically make their way to the location of the quest objective. Never again will you be bored by having to find your own way to a place. (*facedesk*)

It is in bad light, when the best things you have to say about a game are that it looks pretty, it's cute, it has unicorns and it's funny using the "kiss" emoticon against walls/donkeys/monsters/anything/anyone. As a final verdict, I'd have to say that this is only worth playing if you're a lollicom, have never played an MMORPG, or are desperately bored. (It might not help with that last one too much though.)

In any case, I hope that you have found this interesting/entertaining, and perhaps found something new to play/not play. If you think I should have stomached the game longer for some reason or other, or maybe just have a difference of opinion on how good it is, make sure to let me know in the comments below. Also, make sure to share this with any friends you know that are looking for something new to play, so they know what to avoid. And of course, if you would like to see more game reviews like this, make sure to like my Facebook page and/or follow me on Twitter using the associated buttons on the bar to the right so that you can get the latest posts as I put them up. And finally, regardless of what you do, I thank you for taking the time to read this article, hope that you have/had an absolutely FANTASTIC day, and I will speak again tomorrow.

Walk in peace my friends.

Madness Monday - "Internet Skills" (And Challenges)

Hello and welcome to Madness Monday; the day of the week where I talk about internet skills and the crazy things people do with them.

Picture was taken from this Rusty Cage video. You might also find you can't stop watching that if you're not careful.

Ever feel like you have too many fingers (or not enough scars)? Maybe you wonder if cinnamon on it's own tastes as good as cinnamon buns? Or maybe you just think that eating stupid things is funny. Whatever it is, it's madness, (and not the sparta kind), so we're gonna talk about it.

If you've spent time on YouTube, it's likely you've fallen trap to the endlessness of clicking suggested video's for a good few hours. If you have, you've probably come across one of the millions of video's about which I'm going to talk about. "Internet Talents" as RayWilliamJohnson called them in this video when he was still the presenter of =3, are skills that people have which, while somewhat impressive, don't have much application anywhere other than the internet.

And boy, are there a lot of them. Rusty Cage largely popularized the "Knife Game", also known as Five Finger Fillet, with this song, and people ever since then have been itching to amputate their limbs accidentally in the name of fun. Then there's the dear fellow The LA Beast, who's been inspiring the masses to eat the most ridiculous things ever for years. Boiled coke sounds horrid.

What on earth inspires these people to do these stupid things in front of a camera and put them on the internet? Other people of course, because no great story started with: "I was home alone when...".

Perhaps even better, are the amazing(ly stupid) challenges that people attempt to conquer for the entertainment of the masses. Our dear friend the LA Beast is ever here for us when he attempts to take on the "Condom Challenge", snorting a "fire and ice" condom and pulling it out from his throat. Delicious... If you wish to see this hero in all his glory perform this amazing act, click here. (I suspect that link will remain mostly untouched for some reason...)

Then there's the cinnamon challenge where people try to eat a spoonful of cinnamon. Mmmmmm, I can just taste the wonderful, powdery goodness now. What kind of person doesn't have a straight spoon of cinnamon every day? (Everyone...) And that's not even the worst. People do all kinds of stupid things, ranging from jumping into frozen lakes to eating Ghost Chili Peppers. (Often rated as one of the hottest chili's in the world.)

Strangely enough, I would ask what on earth posseses people to do these stupid and fairly self-harmful things, but I mostly already know. Same reason I use for anything that seems funny to do. "For fun". (Or "Teh Lulz" if you know the Oddball Dialect)

Maybe we're crazy, or maybe were all just mad. Either way, self-inflicted injuries and dumb ideas are entertaining for some strange reason, so I don't see this stopping any time soon. Teen's think its a fun way to blow time, Darwinists think it's a fun way to blow stupid genes and the bored just think it's fun to watch. (I'm with the last group on this one.)

In any case, I hope that you're feeling a little more sane this Monday after seeing some of the ridiculous things that people do on the internet. If you think there are some more notable, (read: outrageous), challenges or skills that I forget to mention, make sure to let me know in the comments below. Better yet, make sure to share this with any crazy friends of yours, we could always do with more people doing silly things for laughs. And of course, if you would like to see more articles like this, make sure that you like my Facebook page, or follow me on Twitter, using the associated buttons on the bar to the right so that you can read them, as they're posted. Regardless of what you do, I thank you for taking the time to read this, hope that you have/had an absolutely FANTASTIC day, and I will speak again tomorrow.

Peace out Homies. (That's how people sound on the internet right?)