Madness Monday - An obsession with Unicorns

Hello and welcome to Madness Monday. The day where I tell you about the strange and abnormal things I do, so you can feel a little more sane.

This is Charlie, he came to me in a dream.
I was not on anything... I think.

 Unicorns... yes. I like unicorns. (No, I do not watch MLP...) But what I do do, is get excited about awesome pictures of Unicorns for no reason. I also draw them, such as Charlie up above and the 2 fellows below. (Which may or may not be stuck on the wall above my computer *glances about shiftily*)

I actually have no idea why, precisely, I like Unicorns so, but I suppose, like much in my life, I don't need a reason to do something as long as there's no reason to not do it. So Unicorns! Woohoo! This small oddity is also why some of my friends, (read: Mr Canoe/Jerome whom I mentioned previously here), refer to me as Dr. Unikorn.

If you're wondering about my inspiration for the unicorn drawings, the lower 2 are hand drawings done of images I found randomly on the internet; (Google for images of Unicorns, you're likely to find the original ones there.), while Charlie was actually my first original Unicorn drawing, having come to me in perhaps one of my strangest dreams. (Was pretty awesome though.)

I'm by no means a stoner... In fact, I'm much the opposite, and tend to avoid almost all forms of intoxicants usually, so I will have to chalk the dream he was in up to the strange landscape that forms my mind. In any case, as I remember it, the dream started out with me walking into a glade in a forest to find said Unicorn whom I henceforth referred to as Charlie. Noticing a drum set off to the side, I asked Charlie if I may play. He agreed and, while I took position, he stood up and magically produced a guitar out of nowhere, taking up the pose illustrated I illustrated. Apparently, unicorns playing guitars seemed normal to me, (despite his lack of fingers or thumbs), and we started flying while playing dubstep music... We then proceeded to areas that were devoid of color and colored them in with the music, making all the inhabitants dance. There was also a bad Michael Jackson impersonator who got punched...

Yep... I'm pretty sure there's something wrong me... Unicorns I can handle, but bad Michael Jackson impersonators? That's abhorrent.

In any case, I think that's enough from me about my strange obsession with unicorns, if you have something you'd like to ask about my randomness, feel free to leave a comment or maybe share this with a friend you think might find it amusing. Thank you for reading and always, I hope you have/had and AWESOME day.

Walk in peace my friend.

Storytime Sunday - Why jumping off of things is a stupid idea

Hello and welcome to Storytime Sunday. The day where I tell you about the excessively stupid things I've done, so you don't have to.

Illustration may differ from actual occurrences

Last Sunday I spoke about some of my unintelligent misadventures as an aspiring parkour traceur. This Sunday, I'm talking about my unintelligent misadventures as a stereotypical, bored idiot...

Two years ago during my the amazing adventures of  myself and my good friend Jerome, (Or Canoe, as we occasionally call him.), we found ourselves at school over the mid-year holiday's for the years Major Production (read: play) practice typically held over that period. That years cast was particularly large and as such, there were often periods where parts of the cast did not necessarily need to be there. As such, myself and Mr Canoe were waiting up in the school hall's gallery. (That big place on the second floor where the Matrics usually get to sit.) I've got to say though... Boredom Kills!

This was another fine case of times when proper thought processes must have crashed and not had the opportunity to reboot in my head, since I found myself suffering under the unbearable urge to jump off the gallery. (Might I note that jumping off the second floor of most buildings is a very, very bad idea... Please don't do this...)

I'm fairly certain I will never forget the conversation that led up to the decision. Standing beside Jerome, I suddenly looked over the edge and stated "I'm going to jump off of here.". Wisely, his reply: "Don't." Too bad I simply repeated myself despite his better judgement. Now, Jerome may be my best friend, but I don't think I would have bothered past that to try and stop me either. So he simply said "O.K." and watched me be an idiot. (I got him back for this in other ways though, more on that another time. Teehee )

Climbing up onto the wall that separated the gallery from the slightly more than 6 foot drop to the floor below, I realized how frighteningly scary that height actually was... Did that deter me? Nope... It just made me decide to hang off the edge and drop down rather than jump. Did that help? Nope again... (Stupidity can be unassailable at times it would appear. I think I should start referring to myself as a professional idiot.)

So, in the space of a few seconds, I lowered my legs over the edge and slid slowly to the point where I was just gripping the edge with my fingers, still at no point thinking this was a bad idea. The way I saw it, as long as I landed correctly from the height I was now at, being somewhere about 5 feet off the ground, I would be fine. Of course, there's this thing called Murphy's Law. Knee's bent, landing on the balls of my feet, everything was going well until I realized my weight was too far back in my decent. This meant that I was suddenly falling backwards instead of dropping directly onto my legs. I landed with a hearty thump on my rump, much to the surprise of those in the area around me who immediately asked if I was okay. Which I was... at least until I tried to move. 

Having landed solidly on my behind, I had injured the muscles surrounding the lower few vertebrae of my spine. (In hindsight, I got off rather lightly in terms of injuries.) The pain wasn't unbearable, but I did walk around like I had a carrot stuck somewhere it shouldn't be for a couple days.

So from this experience, we can surmise two things. Darwinism is a legitimate theory because of people like me, and boredom/stupidity kills. (As well as putting the stupid things you do on the internet. If my old principal is reading this... Sorry. Hehe)

Anyways, I think that's enough from me for one day. Don't forget to leave a comment on how much of an idiot you think I am, or a suggestion on how to avoid bodily harm in the future, or maybe just share this with a friend who's prone to hurting themselves. And of course, as always, I hope you have an AWESOME day.

Walk in peace my friends. (and preferably with more intelligence than I typically display)